Welcome to paradise....

Welcome to paradise....

Friday, November 21, 2008

Bila kucing tiada, tikus pun menari!

This week I’ve just discovered that 2 of my bestest friends’ hubbies are having affairs.

I just feel awful about knowing this - on one level it is none of my business, but on the other I think I would be a shitty friend if I didn't let them know something like that.

They probably have no clue about the affairs and they are such nice people whom do not deserve heart-break.

My instinct says – butt out! It is none of my business, and I don’t want to risk our friendships by being the bearer of bad news.

But having said that, if the roles are reversed, I would expect my friends to at least warn me.

Would YOU want to be told if your spouse was cheating?

What should I do?

Right now I’m telling myself that these are all just second hand news and since I did not witnessed the affairs first hand, I've got no cause to pass it on. Lame excuse, I know!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Today is thursday and its 4.19pm, another 41 mins to go back!

Today I’m going to devote myself to write something meaningless because I’m bored... so sue me!!!

I’ve just moved office location to one of the coldest environment ever, it's like a walk-in chiller!!. It's quite embarrassing as everyones tits are on permanent hardness. I could blind some poor soul if I'm not careful !! And when you switch on the aircond, it sounds like we’re on an Fokker Turboprop about to take off. I can barely hear myself on the phone. With pointy nips everywhere you look, sounds blaring, faulty flourescent lights blinking, just add a few dancing poles and its just like Patpong!! Thank god this is only temporary until our new convention centre is ready next year.

So what’s new with me?

Well, my baby plan is in action! It’s been 2 months and I have yet to see any result. We’ve done it at all possible times, ways, styles and locations that by now we have even managed to dethrone our bunnies in the humping sessions. So I don’t know what else we can do? Nak kata tak main, main! Dah main pagi, petang, siang malam tapi still no positive sign! Frankly I’m quite fed-up and feel like giving up. But I really pity cheeky bom bom coz she really wants another sibling to bully. I shouldn’t have left out the baby making plan too long. Sekarang umur dah meningkat, bio clock ticking... so siapa yang rugi? Akak jugak!!! Shish.. If by end of the year, if nothing jugak, i'm gonna set appointment to see the ole good Prof Dato' Hamid our own dedicated Pussy Doctor!!

p/s btw, I was told of an ancient ritual where a lady must steal kain 'batik' from another lady whose had many kids and then batheor **** with the sarong. Coincidently, I’ve just hooked up with a long lost friend on FB who has 7 children. Should I start making plan to rob hers?

We are also in negotiation with a contractor to renovate the house. We have decided to stay put in that tempat jin bertendang. Instead, we are going to add more rooms to the current house. Anak baru sorang tapi the house plan macam nak muatkan anak 10 orang *eyes rolling*.

Cheeky bom bom was 1st in her graduating kindy class. Even though there were only 20 rivalries in her class but still!!! Her mama and her papa tak pernah merasa dapat nombor satu hokay! So syukurlah dapat anak rajin belajar gitu!

That reminds me of a funny incident prior to her report card day…

Cheeky bom bom: Mama, is getting 3rd place bad?

Me: No but it will be nice if you can maintain your current position at no. 2.

Cheeky bom bom: Can I still get a prize if I got 3rd place?

Me: What do you want?

Cheeky bom bom: Well, for 3rd place, I would like to have a game (psp).

Me: If 1st or 2nd?

Cheeky bom bom: I would like a Kelly doll for 2nd place. And if 1st place, I would like a colouring book!

I was laughing my socks off at her cunning response. That was how confident she was in getting 3rd place. You see she knew her math score would pulled her grades down as she had yet to master reading the clock.

So now she is still pestering me to get her the game instead of the colouring book. I shall let her sweat for awhile longer *grinning devilishly*

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Obama is 44th President of the USA

After a long and predictable campaign, A Kenyan beat a Scottish to be the President of America??? What??.. Yup, Barrack Obama, is the new President of USA, the first African American President who pulverized John McCain into the Oval Office (Does he have short arms or is he a descendent of T-Rex maybe its just me seeing things?? Thank God it was not decided in a boxing rink...) . So what is different about this handsome black man compared to the normal American President?
He is half Kenyan half Hawaiian i.e. marathon world class runner in grass skirt.., brought up in Hawaii, Indonesia and mainland USA, step father is Indonesian, calls his grandma Toot! (maybe she had a problem with flatulence..) Sister is half Indonesian half American i.e. Javacan, bro in-law .... get this.. Malaysian!! The only Malaysian that can say 'abang gua American President-lah!!
The question now is:
1. Will the White House be called Black House or Funky Soul House??
2. Will all the chairs be covered with see-thru plastic like all the homes in the projects of Chicago?
2. Will he be a fair President for the Palestinian cause as he keeps saying 'America's strongest ally is Israel'
3. What will his foreign policy be?

What is ironic is that the most powerful men in the world is
Obama Biden
and the most wanted man in the world is
Osama Laden

Monday, November 03, 2008

Hong Kong Living

Pinay Heaven!!
HKG version of Times Square

Pigeon Holes

If you think living like ants is fun.... you are meant to live in Hong Kong. If you think living in the coral reefs is cool... then you are meant to live in Hong Kong but if you cherish your personal space, your weekend drive, your quick trip to the beach or waterfall, your pasar tani, your quiet day in the suburbs..... Hong Kong is NOT a place for you.

Hong Kong Island is only inhabited on one side of the rock... the Kowloon facing side. From the bay side the terrain goes upwards towards the Peak and down to the opposite side. So if you live in Hong Kong Island one will know your status by how far is your unit from the nearest tram. The closer it is the poorer you become. The higher up the mountain the higher your social standing is. The 'Creme de la creme' actually lives in bungalows above the Peak overlooking Kowloon!!

At night the place reminds me of the movie BladeRunner or the futuristic cities in Star Wars, like the reef culture in Shark Tale, but it actually quite safe.

During weekends the place is full of Filipino and Indonesian maids that gets the day off... they congregate by the thousands in the business district picnicking under every available shade... it's soooo amazing. Imagine hundreds of high end condos with hundreds of units each will have a maid each. Give them a day off on the same day.... all hell breaks loose... everyone speaks Tagalog at full crank and at the same time!!! Just like the Jamaicans on Sunday mornings at Brixton London, the Punjabi's in Southall, London and Orthodox Jewish with their black cloaks and pigtails down their cheeks in Golders Green. I still remember flying into Heathrow on Christmas day and finding everyone from the cleaners, security guards, immigration and customs to cab drivers are either with a turban or Indian looking???? I kept checking on my ticket stubs if i had mistakenly landed in Amritsar or somewhere similar. Kept thinking to myself..."Is this Klang ka??"

Who says Hong Kong is a shopping haven???? You can kiss my @$$ !! It was 30 years ago lah!! So bloody expensive!!

Hong Kong.... been there, done it... no thank you....