Welcome to paradise....

Welcome to paradise....

Monday, July 30, 2007

Monster rage!

If you were driving on the Saga highway this morning in a red Waja, I just wanted to let you know that you suck at driving.

Why do people love tailgating? OK, so I am driving in the right lane at a decent speed and passing people on the left, then someone will get up all in my butt. So I see them in the rearview and say, "OK, Mr. Up My Butt, I will move to the left and let you pass because you obviously have a pregnant lady in the car or you really need to go the gents."

Here is the part where I get all road raged. When I move to the left and continue at the same speed, they don't pass me. This makes me crazy. They just stay at the same speed, only now, they are not dangerously close to violating my innards. But what makes this even better is when they then move into the left lane to continue the tailgating. I think I need a bumper sticker that reads, "I am not the pace car, you F1 loving asshole. Get out of my face"

p/s I noticed that my entrĂ©e lately are not so happy thoughts eh? Hell…blame it on PMS..bear with me kay!

Friday, July 27, 2007

Nt Fny k!

Today at work, someone responded to an email with LMK in the middle of a sentence. I figured out pretty quickly that this meant "let me know". I recognized it quick because txt spk has bcm so n my fckng fce. I hate it. I hate lol and I hate gtg and I hate one that is something like rmlfao, because I have no idea what it means (attention dorks: I am pretty sure that the last one I typed isn't correct... I know it and am comfortable with it and dnt cr wht it mnz).

What bothers me most about it is that people seem to just make these up and hope they catch on. LMK? Never heard it before today. It might be popular in chat rooms, but I really don't want it at work. I don't want to have to figure out what made up acronyms mean. Has OOO caught on yet for Out of Office, because it should. The first person who sends me and out of office reply that says "Blah Blah is OOO," I am going to sign up their email address to every possible spam sender I can find.I just don't like this becoming part of every day life. It's becoming too prevalent. I wouldn't be surprised if I got a text message after the death of a family member that read, srry abt yr lss

I had to resort asking my friends the meaning of it all which was quite embarrassing hokay. I do have an image to uphold after all and to be IT savvy was one of it! WAS!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

6 more days to go….

I miss my point of reference for just about anything!

I miss talking to her about nothing in particular!

I miss her bebelan!

I miss her ear splitting banshee-like scream!

I miss watching her transformed from human to tiger in split seconds

I miss her cooking!

I even miss her whirlwind activities!

I miss mum!

These past few weeks, out of habit, I find myself dialing home many times during the day but to find another voice answering the other line and then I remembered that she’s not here which will make me a grumpy and miserable bitch throughout the day! I honestly cannot imagine life without her. 6 days couldn’t come fast enough…

Funny eh? I don’t exactly spend a lot of time with her since I got my own family to look after, another household to run, another set of family (in-laws) to visit, live a life..etc. I don’t remember missing her this much when she left for Mecca or other places in the world but there’s something different with this trip. I actually drew a heart shape on the date she’s suppose to come back…aww gaddammit, macam dating mak je bunyinya!

Is it the age factor or is my pms making its round again? If it’s the latter, then please be warned!

50 Anak Gemilang Malaysia!

Err...err...err...I'm speechless! *very rare indeed*

But do go and check out the result and tell me if you agree with it...GO!

Kipasing the leader to the max!!!

Personally, I think this ranking exercise cheapens those great people we honour. If promoting batik, songket & the like is what the voters are looking for (for the top spot), i think my boss's mother should win hands down! Shishhh....

Monday, July 23, 2007

The end of the Harry Potter saga!


I want more!

ALL the hype is over, but was it worth it?

Hell, yes!!!

So, who died?

I'm not telling coz I'm sure there are tortoise readers who have yet to finish the book.

As for me, I will now go into hibernation...under the table!

Friday, July 20, 2007

What's in your bag?

So now that you’ve sort of know me, we are practically dating now, let's get a bit intimate with the insides of my bag. That sounded a bit naughty didn't it, oops!

So what does minah sepet have in her bag?

Too much!

Sheer craziness had inspired me to dig deep inside my purse and expose everything that is inside. Be afraid! Be really afraid!

Maybe this will force me to take some things out and perhaps throw some things away or just stop carrying them. My bag feels like it weights 50lbs and my dearest makes fun of me for carrying around a bottomless pit of a bag. So here we go....

This bluish geometric tote bag is one of my favourites out of the 39 I own, and it even has a sweet leopard-print lining which you unfortunately can't see. These are some of the items that I carry with me all the time or they are placed in my bag for certain activities:

1. sunglasses (ops in the pix is not mine but my dearest. where’s mine? *looking around*. you see! mana tak berat? I’m the official balaci to carry other people stuffs)

2. reading glasses (surprise! surprise! I’m actually short sighted!*tapi malu ngaku*)

3. my cell phone (which is pretty useless though coz I hardly pick up calls or make calls)

4. lipsticks (loads of it – different colour for different outfits or depending on my mood)

5. MAC compact powder (brand penting ni coz it’s good on my sensitive skin. Kulit mak ni tak mainlah brand yang beli kat pasar malam RM10 dapat 3 tu *walaupun sebenarnya di celah2 gambar tu ada terdapat bedak sejuk brand apatah tapi yang bentuk dia empat segi depan dia muka cina zaman dahulu tu*)

6. fold over hair brush with compact mirror (it’s the best, so compact that it doesn’t take up space *sebenarnya malas nak cari kalau dia bercerai berai, leceh*)

7. name tags (penting wo, without it, I will surely be kicked out of the office)

8. mini purse (love it because of the design and the things that I can put in every nook and cranny of it)

9. eye liner and mascara (being sepet, naturally I cannot live without them)

10. thumb drive (can die without it)

11. MP3 (lagilah boleh bunuh diri kalau hilang) and batteries for it

12. keys (kalau takde, boleh meraung depan rumah mengalahkan Azean Irdawati berlakon and boleh terus rampas best actress award dari Fasha)

13. strepsil/sweets (breath must be wangi all the time, nanti org cakap dgn kita, tutup hidung, malu banyak wo)

14. perfumes (didn’t I say I’m anal about smelling nice all the time?)

15. tissue (to discreetly wipe off snot, boogies, tears and sweat)

16. earring (incase yang di telinga terhilang)

17. pad (ehehe..woman stuff, you know, just incase)

18. hair bands

19. sewing kit (life saver babe!)

20. matches (just in case I need to light fire?)

21. pen/small notebook (to jot down nombor ekor incase of accident? utk orang lain, not me?)

22. watch

23. leave in hair conditioner (for that sweet fresh smell)

24. rexona (manalah taukan. kalau kejadian tutup hidung seperti di atas berlaku, nanti dah kena pulak angkut kain baju semua balik kampong and tanam jagung!)

25. and of course my precious camera without which I can’t take this picture!

Of course these are items that are always in my bag. But if during outing with cheeky bom bom, aha, then that’s another story. Don’t be surprise to find water bottlelah, susulah, drink packetslah, food stuffslah, sockslah and sometimes even baju!
If he wasn't too heavy to carry, I would have loved to pack in Prince in the bag too!

God, looking at the list makes me exhausted. No wonder my right shoulder is lopsided a bit. This was a good exercise to minimize ‘isi kandungan’ my bag but the problem is, I think I need all of them….or at least eventually! Aish….

So now that you have seen what is in my bag...what is in yours?

Eh chop! Can this be a tag? Why not you readers go do this exercise in your own blog and expose yourself *grin* (no pun intended). This should be fun!!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

KL today!

How often do we play Good Samaritan, doing random acts of kindness in society these days? Now I don’t mean to sound like a tree-hugging hippie here but that’s the sad fact. People are getting too full of themselves these days I think.


This morning when the traffic light was about to change to green, a car next to mine honked at a blind man crossing the road. I thought I had seen everything but this really take the icing off the cake lah people. I really could award this driver ‘asshole of the year’!!

I was so surprised that it took me few minutes to realize that it was clear to move. Perhaps everybody was as stunned as I was coz nobody honked at me. Mak rasa nak turun kereta and hempuk the sorry ass guy. Just because he was driving a Merc doesn’t give him the right to leave humanity behind. Eh reallylah, I hope one day god will punish him for what he just did…dumbass. Tak suka tau macam ni….

Maybe he was in a hurry coz isteri nak beranak ke or kucing nak beranak ke but still! A blind man? Few more seconds will not make any difference. Macamlah within that fews seconds you can pecut and sampai to the moon! Bongok betul!

Sorry to all, I wanted an outlet to let off my steam so excuse the french!

Anyway, I would like to offer my condolences to whomever reading this blog who might be related to those who perished in the Nuri crash (one of them was my colleague’s brother). I honestly hope the govie will replace the Nuris soon before another fatal accident happens.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The way we were!

A couple of gay cowboys rounding up 1000 sheep in Montana….EASY QUESY! Wardens handling drug spot checks routine in Kajang Prison…..EASY WEASY!
General McArthur pushing forces to control the Red Army in the Pacific…EASY PEASY! But to be in charge of 2 female teenagers in 2007 with hyperactive hormones on steroids???... Bloody impossible! Damn! It’s easier for a fish to ride a bicycle I tell ya!!

I’ve been babysitting the 2 crazy sisters whole of last week whilst mum is in down under for a month, sending the other crazy sister off for her 1st year in Uni. Lucky me that Dad came back home last weekend. I don’t think I can last another day with them without having a massive heart attack, aneurism, angina and nervous breakdown all at once.

My god, I really don’t know how my mum coped when I was growing up but I think I was oklah, not so wildlah, a bit easier to take care than the 3 crazy sisters. Plus I was the only one that made time to harass my mum. My eldest sister, the sanest sister (the other sane one is me-lah) was too nice to be troublesome so I was the only one that mum had focused her Manimal Transformation energy on *betul! She can change from human to tiger to ear-piercing Banshee in a split second!*. In fact, I think I still have a problem with my left ear… I remembered my wildest moment was coming back home at 6am with my girlfriends (The same Friday the 13th bunch of yoyos) resuming our so called slumber party, after celebrating the end of form 5 at a discotheque. But that was as wild as it got back then.

But now…..phew! Times have changed? Teenagers are growing up faster? They are bolder? They are braver? They are more adventurous? Peer pressure is more forceful? They don’t listen to reason? Hard headed? Pig headed? Loose tongue? Tons of chemical food preservatives have mutated normal DNA to alien personalities?

I don’t know…..but I’m pretty worried…

I’m just glad that cheeky bom bom will not reach that stage until about 10 years’ time. Got plenty of time to get my ammunition ready!! Freaky!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

meme? me? here goes....

Over the weekend, I’ve decided to work on the tag that I owed Sarcy. So here goes….

Rasa Ku yang Tinggal Mati

“Err hi!” wondering where he had seen this familiar ravishing woman. His heart thumping with the beat of Black Eyed Peas ‘Where is The Love’.

“It’s me, Lara, your misfit next door neighbor back in Bangsar” smiling widely at him with pearly white toothy grin.

“Oh hello there!” gawking at the beautiful girl standing before him, remembering the tomboyish daughter of Auntie Zie.

“My god, you’ve changed!” (Hubbahubbahubbaaa…)

“Yeah, I finally grew up. You like?” twirling around dressed in a silver shimmering tube, a short tiered black skirt and long legs in knee high black boots.

She looked hot, he thought, running his fingers through his hair, discreetly wiping sweat off his forehead and skimmed down his mouth to make sure it was not hanging open like a 10 year old in a Pornographic store. Hell, with a body like that, she could stop traffic at the drop of a hat!

Exhaling his breath slowly, collecting his composure, he said, “You grew up nice. What gives? What are you doing here?”

“Oh you didn’t know? I’ve just started my first year at City University majoring in Risk Management. I know! I know!” rolling her eyes “How could a girl who seems to attract trouble all her life wants to actually provide advice to people on how to avoid problem? I guess with all the anxiety I’ve caused my mum growing up, I am some what an authority on the subject” laughing merrily.

He laughed, warming up to her, remembering her antics when she was young, the only daughter of his mum’s best friend. When she was 10, she decided that the neighbors were not coordinated and sociable enough that she had sent fliers to all the houses requesting all the neighbors to attend a local meeting. Most of the neighbors curiously came to find a little girl playing host. Nevertheless, that night a local society was setup and still active till this day. Then when she was 13, she thought that the neighbors were not doing enough recycling so she gathered few of her friends to stage a protest. They hold fort in a tree house and refused to come down until the president of the local society assured her that he will arrange a recycling port to be placed at the neighborhood.

Chuckling to himself, he asked, “Who are you here with?”

“Oh I’m here with some friends. They’ve been working here for the past few years and know London like the back of their hand, so I’m in safe hand” gesturing to the executive table.

He looked at them who were waving to her. As his head turned, he sighted Del who was shooting a dagger look at him. He chose to ignore her and focus his attention to Lara.

“Can you believe that they wanted to wear their office attire to come to this place? I told them that I would rather be dead than be seen with them”.

“So you made them change?” he teased her.

“Hell yes, of course!”

Laughing out loud, he said “You haven’t changed at all. That’s good!”

“Yeah, my policy is still to make the world a better place, one person at a time” she laughed softly. “Hey I heard your mum was in town few months back?” flicking her hair back.

“Err, yes”, distracted by the heady sexy perfume small wafting his way.

“I wished I could have met her but I was busy with orientation and…..”

Her voice drifting away as his eyes started to darken over remembering the disastrous visit by his mom.

And I tag tiena to continue with the story coz I'm sure you can add depth to the storyline. The rules are simple;

1. You must not finish the story. You can tag more than 1 blogger to continue the story.
2. There is no theme to the story.
3. It doesn't have to be a tragic love story. Sixty can decide later who should end the story :-)

Once in a blue moon!

Friday the 13th! What a date to get together with old friends. Good turnout minus the freak with the ski mask and machete of course. Impromptu get-together always seems to work better than formally trying to set a gathering. In the past, even if the dates have been set waaaay in advance, on the actual day….there will always be someone who just can’t make it, skodeng laki lah, basikal pancitlah, kapal langgar iceberg lah, stomacheadache lah, mutton crossed the roadlah, maid lari dengan neighbours’ father in-law lah…and the excuses goes on and on!

Anyway, my mum’s maid is currently having a love affair with ‘cili padi’ thus she tends to put the secret ingredient in all her dishes…by the kilo. Let’s just say that there were a tsunami of snorting, crying and lots of water gulping during the ‘makan-makan’ session. I’m still waiting for feedbacks to hear if anybody suffered a gaping hole in the stomach but so far so good. No news is good news.

Typically the grand entrance *read late entrance* were by our celebrity couple, Vanida and Rashidi complete with her own entourage *read her children*. But she came loaded with celebrity gossips and celebrity ghost stories so her majesty’s tardiness was more than excused. Ooooo and what a gossip session it was!! Memang rugi siapa tak datang, instead of the celebrity channel E!, this was a private show called VEE! *sorry no repeat*!

To our surprise it was about 1 am that the pow-wow was adjourned…Anyhow, to my lovely guests, bak kata David Arumugam “Trima KASSSSEH!!!”

Nanti kita buat lagi hokay. Did I hear next session is 'a book club meet' in Damansara Damai? *wink*

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Order of the Phoenix-The verdict!

Now with all due respects to Harry Potter fans out there, I’m sorry to say this……

I was sooooo let down by the movie. All the hype, the marketing, the publicity went down the drain within 21/2 hours. I went in with full swing of enthusiasm and it went kaput….woshh! It was a big disappointment, to me at least. There was not much magical action to begin with. The new director did exactly what Umbridge wanted to do which was to curb the practical bit of practicing magic…boo hoo! All the excitement was at the end which was a very very short scene. You all know the 'Expellimus' spell right? You must be familiar with that right? Even my pet cat knows that spell. Yeah, that was about all the chanting you can hear throughout the movie. Oy Mr. Yates, no more idea ka? You have saddened Potterites world over! I think Im gonna naik Air Asia lari ke Cambodia and drown myself there.

To my dearest (not a fan), the movie was a big blur. I suggested that he read the book to understand the movie better but he said that the thickness of the book scares him..aish!

Let’s just pray that 21st July will not be another bummer!

p/s there was a very funny article in The Star today comparing Harry Potter and Malaysian..it was quite comical but sorry there is no link to it. Go get you lazy butt off your chair and read the actual hard copy...go! Jangan malas!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


"Because of them (CTOS), thousands of people cannot apply for loans for homes, cars or education." Taken from NST

Mr Kayveas is making it sound as if the bank, which is incidentally the one taking all the risks, is nothing more than an innocent bystander. Don't the banks have their responsibility and role to play? They are in the business after all and like all businesses, they have to pick and choose their customer. If you choose to deal with any Tom, Dick and Harry, you would close down your shop faster that I can atchoo! And because of his love affair with the media glory, my phone hasn’t stopped ringing! Thanks a lot for robbing my blogging time! Benci mak...

p/s talking about Harry, I've booked my tickets for the opening show of Harry Potter..heheh, jgn jealous ye!

Monday, July 09, 2007


** This is a sober post to complement the monday blues.... Proceed ahead with caution. Dullness ahead **

It was inevitable that cheeky bom bom’s sport day was postponed to August just when I thought I could escape when my baby fell ill. Fate? Could be…no one is immune to it and you just cannot escape. Bloody hell, I got exactly 1 month to brush up on my emceeing skills. Is there an idiot proof guidebook on how to be a really fantastic mistress of ceremony…quick! I need feedbacks!

Anyway, last Saturday we checked out this really cool and fantastic new eatery in town called Bora Asmara in Sg. Penchala just after Mofaz. I think it’s affiliated to Bora Ombak in Ampang. Anyway, look at the pictures here! Beautiful right? (posting pixs later, got problem with internet) Go and check it out but don’t tell me that I didn’t warn you about the food. Load of crap!! Even my foodtarian niece could whip up something better! They must have spent thousands to beef up the place but did they had a memory lapsed when it came to food taste? And the drinks! I never knew anyone could botch up in mixing drinks…my mocha literally got no sugar and I don’t even have a sweet tooth (*read bull crap here*).

But don’t just take my word for it. Who knows, by the time you go, they would have employed a new chef coz I’m sure we were not the only table whose taste buds were compromised!

To add insult to injury, on the way back home, we forgot that most malls were going to have midnight sales spree thus got caught in the notorious KL traffic jam. Tak cukup siang hari but malam also got some nocturnal human being who wants to go shopping, not just at night but midnight!!! You know the saying; you just can’t beat em so join em? You really can’t blame me when we came back with trunk-full of god knows what? It’s the traffic that made me do it! Not because I’m a shopaholic…no sir, not me, na’a, never!! *denial mode on*

Friday, July 06, 2007

Something alien!

Dik, bagi akak paru tu.

Ok kak

Eh, bukan yang ini tapi paru yang berlada tu..

Erk? Ni bukan parulah kak, ni hati.

Ha? Eheheh...ye ke? Akak ni rabun sikit...*cover line*

I paid and walked away quickly with my very red ears and a thicker face…*malu siot*

p/s you can buy me encyclopedia on fishes, bring me diving or take me to aquarium but when I go to the market, it’s still ‘nak ikan tu, nak ikan ni’. Ini otak ada sikit lembab when it comes to fish or hati or paru or yang sewaktu dengannya. You know the saying, tak kenal maka tak cinta? Welllll, in my case, I tak kenal but I chenta hokay!!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Scared silly!

Oh btw, because of this stupid motor mouth of mine, cheeky bom bom’s teacher has asked me to emcee their kiddie sports day this coming Saturday. My last emcee job was for Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston’s wedding (Yeah Right!!) and I’m pissing in my pants! Mak takut……! I requested the teacher to assign it to someone else. Oh no no no, other parents have other duties. We have reserved this part especially for you *grinning, eyes gleaming with evil*…bitch!
I wonder if I’ll be Sunday’s headline….

“ Kerana terlalu gementar, seorang ibu pengsan semasa mengacarakan majlis”
p/s I smsed to her teacher yesterday to inform her that cheeky bom bom is down with fever and might not make it to the sport day. She replied with a big 'HA HA, GOOD ONE!'. Eh, dia tak percaya pulak....could it be she saw cheeky bom bom running around the house yesterday laughing with her friends, fit as a fiddle?...damn! How do I get myself out of this situation...cow dung betullah!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Split personalities!

A fellow blogger brought up a very interesting point recently where he said that most bloggers he has met are really quite different from the rubbish written in their blog.
i.e. blog=funny, real life=square, vice-versa!

Why blog if you’re going to be different from the real you?

For me, a blog is another manifestation of diaries. I used to keep diaries and substituted the boys name into girls name which mum eventually found out and I got punished! i.e. Sara looked at me today…. soooo cute!!. Wasn’t sure if mom was furious because she knew I was talking about boys or she actually thought I was leaning towards being a lesbian or what they call a ‘Pengkid’… anyhow I’ve sworn back then never to keep a diary. But itu cerita dulu, cerita budak2 zaman Cabbage Patch Kids.

Now, I got nothing to hide hence a digital diary! It will be good for my children’s children to read this blog and learn about their grandmother and her frolics (if this blog can exist that long!).

Though it’s kinda weird how people can alter their personalities via blogging…kan? Maybe for some it’s a form of ‘Escapism’ an outlet to let their frustrations out. In Europe these people (ironically mostly are middle aged white male) indulge in cross-dressing, wearing stilettos, fish-net stockings and what’s more moronic is wearing an Anorak watching trains go by….’Train Spotting’ they say….Bleedin’ Stupid Wankers I say.

I mean, my thinking goes straight to my mouth hence my personality and so the same thinking translates into writing. So bukan ke our personality will infuse in our writing? If I have something smart to say…I say it….if not I Talkkok lah!

Btw, incase you haven’t noticed, my blog is what Phoebe of Friends would call my happy place’ for happy thoughts like the garden of Telly Tubbies and not for serious matters. I’ve enough of that in the office plus we have many other 'sane' bloggers to discuss these serious issues…as interesting as a tub of lard sitting next to your grandma’s dentures on the kitchen cabinet! Mine is where I unwind, relax and blog brainlessly! Heheh, is there such an expression?? Whatever….

Anyway, this blog is me! What you read here is almost as good as talking to me in the flesh! Obviously not 100% of my personality can be captured via blog..itu miracle namanya! But for sure, there’s no split personalities, no Son of Sam, no Ted Bundy …at least I don’t think so…

So nice to make acquaintance with all of you!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Double joy!

My girlfriend gave birth to a pair of twins yesterday morning. I embraced the news with mixed feelings. Happy for her coz her longgggg wait is finally over, jealous coz I’ve always wanted twins and she beat me to it and sad coz remembering and missing those late nights talk we used to have, growing up sharing our wishes for the future back then…last century. Gosh, how time flies and we are both mummies now. Strange!

My dearest have been bringing work home thus robbing my blogging time. My karma finally caught up with me coz I got tonnes of work at the office now so no more blogging in the office too…shucks!

Last weekend in between shoving ourselves up my crazy sister’s throat, El with our undivided attention until she couldn’t stand us anymore, we managed to squeeze in time to watch the latest Spielberg masterpiece, Transformers. Ohmygod! I am so going to buy the original DVD and keep it! Mak suka hokay!!! Giler best ok! Bring back all those yesteryear memories. I was disappointed though that the famous song did not resurrect. You know, the Fran Drescher nasal toned catchy jingle “Transformers! Robots in disguise….” Wonder what would a Proton Juara transform into???? A washing machine!!!! Hold on…..it IS an upside down washing machine on wheels…

We also rekki a potential land investment at Sg. Lui, Ulu Langat which boast of mature orchard with a small stream going through it. Perfect! Now to find money…how ah? Got any ideas or not? Gadai bodi ka? Laku ka?

Mum has requested us to babysit crazy sis, Pink since she’s going off for a month to help crazy sis, El to settle in down-under. Good for us coz we can spend the time surveying potential future homes. Did I tell you that I have decided to move out from that tempat jin bertendang and find somewhere closer to KL.

Heyyyy, did I hear sigh of relief? Sob, kecik ati mak tau..! You want me to crawl under the table and sulk now issit? Sampai ati you ols. Ok, ok, I can’t pretend not to be happy with my recent decision. It is tiring to commute 25km daily fighting tooth and nail just to get on the train. I’m targeting to move early next year kot…depending on how fast my dearest friends can answer my SOS call to help find a nice pad to buy!

You’ve watched MTV Cribs kan…. I want one of those lah to swap with mine… Tolong ah!