Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Yes, I’m down with a cold. Nose tersumbat, sore throat, cough, major headache dan lain-lain yang sewaktu dengannya. It’s been a looong time since I caught a bad cold. Not forgetting I’m still suffering from PMS. Take all that in and hence the title!
Anyway here's a short run of what went on yesterday.
During lunch, a group of people mingled around the PA’s desk who was drafting an email.
Put how much she has slimmed down after giving birth…
Put responsibility comes in package with bald hair….
Letak murah hati lagi budiman lagi rupawan….
Don’t forget to add p/s Sam, no comment please (Sam is a staff who likes to point out errors in the emails)
Include the theme ala arab/Indian or something like that….
Tell them that drink is self provided…
No, no, put drink is complimentary from Paipsi…
Tell them there is no need for long queues….just tunggu….
Later when the email came…
Please be informed that tomorrow's lunch will be provided by two contributors who wish to remain anonymous. The Nasi Beriani will be send to you roughly around 12 noon. On behalf of all, I would like to thank our generous contributors.
Eh?? What happened to all the suggestions??? Hampeh betul…buang maso jo!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Years ago when we first moved in to our home, we won the Casa Impian makeover contest. The team took 12 hours to do up the living room and just 10 minutes to shoot our short appreciation note…my few minutes of fame…hampeh!
Was I satisfied? Guess so…after all, beggers can’t be choosers right? We were only allowed to set the theme and the rest in Eric Leong we trusted and wallaa…the result!
So now it has been nearly 3 weeks since I last moved my candles collection. I can feel the time is up again! But this time around I decided that the room calls for……a brand new makeover!!
First things first. I don’t want bold colours anymore. Apa kelas! I want a soft, classy, homey colour like white, beige with tinge of yellowish….
I want to change the sofa too but it has to be something that will cause me lesser 3rd degree burn on my purse. I can also hear the curtain merengek mintak ditukar which will be another atomic bomb attack to my purse.
Mana nak cari duit ni…..nak kena menyundal? Hmmm….time to get out the garter belt and start pole dancing for my dearest.
I wonder if I dare to go for all white living room? Too risky? You reckon?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Amazing!!! I wonder how many shoes cabinet she has at home?
Friday, June 22, 2007
After yawning for the gazillion times, I’ve decided to take half day yesterday and again today doing absolutely nothing but be a couch potato and watching DVDs after that. How sad is that?? Want to scold people also cannot!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Mak lang, mak lang…sedap tak macoroni goreng tu?
Sedap sangat, makanlah.
Abah tak bagi.
Tadi dah makan mee 2 pinggan.
Rasalah satu sudu..
She glanced at her father who happened to be looking at her and she quickly said no.
10 minutes later, I saw crazy sister Tish quietly feeding her a plateful of the macaroni covering it by putting a large book infront of her.
Half an hour passed, I saw mum pulak passing her kuihs under the table!
Aiyoooo, how to kurus like this!
’Jalan-jalan, cari makan.....”
Ish, itukan cerita kat TV.
Yelah, tu favourite song mila..
Haish, budak ni..
Mak lang, mak lang...mak lang nak main game tak?
Game ‘I spy with my own eyes…’
I spy with my own eyes something that starts with the letter K. Ha! Apa die?
*looking around me*..Kaca mata?
Kangaroo? (there was a kangaroo doll)
VCD King Kong? Karipap? Key chain? Krayon?
Nope, nope, nope
Abis tu ape?
KFC! Jom pergi?
Conversation between me and my 40 pounds ‘larger than average’ 3 years old niece who clearly have food on her mind all the time!
p/s unrelated story-she came back from her first day of kiddy excitedly telling my mum that she can spelt 'kucing' and my mum eagerly urged her to demonstrate. Proudly she began...........C.A.T = kucing!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Soft man: That’s because mak is naturally elegant and have good table manners which you don’t…
Me: Hek e’leh! Who says I don’t! Watch this and learn babeh….(*temper rising*)
Confidently, I started scooping spoonfuls of ice and dumping it into his glass of milo ice.
Man, was I graceful…..
Me: See, don’t play play with me. I can be polished when I want to…
Ladidadida.....feeling secure, I starting scooping faster and faster, displaying my expertise in scooping ice, when suddenly…
A whole spoonful of ice fell onto his plate of fries…..
Soft man: WTH! (*glaring at me*)
Me: Err..Ooops?..ehehehe..Sorry?..ehehehe...here, have my pizza. Eat while it’s still hot. Shit happens you know!
I hurriedly picked up a slice of pizza and shoved it on his plate before he complains further.
The pizza fell on the table…
WTF! Just my luck…..
Friday, June 15, 2007
She: Nope. Got things to do.
Me: Me too but I feel guilty! *frowning*
Me: They came to mine earlier this year. *downer*
She: And you just went to one of their kids party few months back. Ok what!
Me: Oh yes, I forgot! Hey, thanks mate. *perking up*
That’s the downside of having too many children thus too many birthday parties thus not too special anymore! And that reminded me of why I only want a pair!
*Somber mode on*
My auntie just had her breast removed to contain her cancerous cells. I was truly surprised and petrified when I first heard of it. Mak takut hokay! All this while I honestly thought that our family was immune to the disease having no history of cancer in the family but I was wrong! How foolish of me!
I had 'the twins' checked by a doctor last year so I guess I’m not due for at least another 2 years. But with this recent news, I remembered that there was a lump in my armpit years ago which the doctor said it was just clogged up sweat gland. I read somewhere that it can also be an early sign of cancer! Kan? Bloody hell, I can feel myself perspiring nervously in that region. Shit double shit! Now every twinge every tweak feels like a death trap : (
Tell me, was it small breasted or big breasted women that are prone to breast cancer? If that’s true then are well endowed men prone to testicular cancer?
Do men get breast cancer? Some men have far bigger bazonkers than us ladies right? Whatever it is, just be wary as it can happen to anyone at any age. Can a certain diet prevent it? I was reading about osteoporosis the other day and it just clicked me that brittle bones was not a serious problem for Malay women 50 years ago…why? MAYBE because women those days were so engrossed with Sirih and in the concoction was a heavy dose of Lime (Kapur) which is calcium..hmmm… think about it! Traditional vs Modern remedies?
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Thank you – Arigato
Hello – Konnichiwa
How are you? – O-Genki?
Good morning – Ohayo
I don’t understand – Wa kari masen
Yes – Hai
How much – Ikura desuka?
See you again – Ja matta
WOW! – SUGOI!
I love you – I shita ryu
No problemo – Daijobu
Tunggu sat – Chotto Matte Kudasai
Good night (only for bidding good night) – Oyasu minasai
What’s your name? – O’nama-e wa nan desuka?
My name is – Wata shi wa (your name) desu
Hotel – Hoteru
Toilet – Otearai
Train – Densha
1. If you have to speak in BM, never say mangkuk (means vagina) or cincin (means penis) out loud. U may smile when thay say ‘Sempuki’ (Ceiling Fan)
2. Never swear to an old Japanese man in Malay, they might just retort with Haaa…Fotong Kapara Mau Ka!!! He might be the bloke who took your grandad’s beloved Raleigh bicycle in Kota Bahru and brought it all the way to Singapore way back in 1941.
3. Don’t bother waking up at dawn anticipating for the sunrise…. It’s the same everywhere even if they are proud to be labeled ‘The land of the rising sun’
4. If you are eating anything soupy, it is good manners to slurp noisily
5. If you happen to use a Japanese toilet, squat facing the dome i.e. Sydney Opera House. Allow me to borrow the following snippet from Lonely Planet : Japan...
"In Japan you will come across both Western style toilets and Asian squat toilets. When you are compelled to squat, the correct position is facing the hood, away from the door. This is the opposite to squat toilets in most other places in Asia. Make sure the contents of your pockets don't spill out. Toilet paper isn't always provided so carry tissues with you."
6. If u are treated to a sushi/ sashimi and beer lunch, make sure u brush your teeth after lunch (A common practice in Japan) as your breath WILL smell like Broccoli and Beans infused fart… now that’s what I call talking shit!
7. Taxi is expensive so avoid at all cost unless you are prepared to swipe your credit card (yup, cabbie accepts cards) and learn the hard way hw much it costs
8. Practice bowing (No eye contact please, only Samurai bow looking up due to lack of trust for the other guy…U donna watch outa, I choppa yor head ). You can shake hands but imagine shaking 1000 pair of hands! Might as well bow once to the crowd and get it over with. That’s why politicians in Japan are still active in their 90’s…. they don’t have to shake hands. Why do we have to kow-tow to politicians in the first place?? We are the ones who put them where they are… they should kow-tow to us-lah maaa
9. Get a good tourist map as sometimes it is nicer/ easier/ closer to explore on foot. Its one of the safest places to go… at any hour of the day.
10. Don’t be surprised if u see practically new TV’s Hi-Fi, electrical gadgets even motorbikes left by the roadside with boxes and all with a note that says ‘Gomi’ which means trash. Its free for the taking because they could afford an upgrade one but can’t afford to store space in their homes. The accommodations are really tiny.
11. Check out the vending machines, which sell from everything under the sun from drinks to magazines to toiletries even pornos….anything but the kitchen sink…but then again….
12. Japanese don’t bargain …. Shopkeepers don’t know how to react to the technique of your average bargain hunting Mak Temah from the Pasar Minggu . It’s like trying to ask for a 20% discount at McDonalds in Bangsar…. You’ll be looked upon like an Incompetent Nincompoop Redneck from the outback.
13. For techies and Mr Gadgets, ‘Akihabara’ would spell heaven to them. What u see as being the latest gizmos today in KL is piled up at the bargain corner…dirt cheap!
14. By normal standards majority of things is expensive in Japan but I would say for the cheapest shopping by Japanese standards, it would have to be at ‘Bakarucho Yokoyama’. It’s a wholesale area for Japanese souvenirs but look for non-wholesale shop.
15. If you happen to be in ‘Shinjuku’ which is one of the happening areas of Tokyo, avoid eye contact with men with really short hair (No 1 crew cut) with tattoos and dress smart to avoid any animosity. They are the Yakuza, the Japanese mafia!
16. For flea markets, you can pay a visit to Shibuya
17. For night life – Roponggi
18. For high end shopping, its Ginza the equivalent to Rodeo Drive
19. Try at least once the cheapest food in Tokyo ‘Soba’ from the Soba stand scattered all over. Everybody eats standing up..rush..rush..rush. U can tell the regular patrons because they have grey teeth. Due to the slurping of piping hot soup…amazing. Tip: Check out the ones with a queue Soba Stand at Gotanda Station (Yamanote Line). Tempura and Okonomiyaki is also a must.
20. Wait for weekends…. Most probably they’d be some kind of Shinto festival somewhere in the streets of Tokyo itself. A must, Akihabara, Asakusa, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ropponggi, Ginza, Yokohama and Chiyoda-ku
21. Get on the subway during rush-hour….its Hell but what an experience! They even employ subways staff to push & squeeze people in to a pulp. Nobody complaints like in Malaysia or cries like in the Nazi gas chambers. If treated as such in Malaysia I’m sure I’d hear a common ‘Hoi apa tolak-tolak! Kepala Hotak Bapak Kau!!
*thanks to my dearest who helped me with the above.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
All these happened while I was sleeping! Sleeping! If there was an atomic bomb….I might have woken up…
Can you believe it? Me who is a very light sleeper actually slept through the whole thing. My neighbour just had a baby and whenever she woke up to feed the baby, I will be awaken along with her that it’s like having a newborn in the house all over again. And that is how easily I can be awakened!
But somehow, yesterday I actually had a nice dreamless night contrary to what when on next door.
Does this mean I have to learn to make a very strong mean taste hot coffee? HELP!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
2 ladies stole the night!
One was a very young 9 year old girl but with a big voice eerily like Jacqueline Victor and the second, a not so old new bride of what was for years the most eligible bachelor of Malaysia if not Asia (No…Not Pak Lah!)
Mum being her usual elegant self, welcomed The Regent of Perak whose new bride stole the show. Raja Puan Besar Perak is not so Besar. She was exquisite, tall, slim and exotically beautiful! Needless to say that she was the main centre of attraction even though bevy of beauties was on hand at the dinner.
Mum & the prince!
We all wasted our whole day doing up our hair, makeup, last minute alteration to the dress, when in actual fact all men’ eyes were on her only!
Something funny happened though. I congratulated her for her recent marriage and smiling she said something that sounded like ‘Cheeeh’! The whole night we were trying to decipher her meaning…was it thank you in a foreign language, was it short for ‘Chewah’ or was it something else altogether?? Hours later, we concluded that it was either ‘Toh Cheh’ i.e. thank you in Chinese thinking I was one…. thus the minahsepet trademark or I was probably short of hearing that she actually said ‘Terima Kasih’ and I only caught the end of it…damn! I better set appointment with my ENT doctor.
Anyway, food was scrumptious! I got my extra bulging 3 inches thicker love handles to prove it…double damn!
Sadly, for few years to come, this would be our last formal event with the crazy sister, El since she’s leaving us in early July. The family came in full force to take the opportunity to pre-celebrate her upcoming independence. Crikey! Anything you do……stay away from the stingrays ok!! It was also my parents' anniversary.
(Picture: managed to snap only 2 crazy sisters with cousin. Crazy sis, Pink was flirting with other boys, as usual)
But all was not lost as the charity dinner achieved its target to help the poor villagers of Parit Buntar, Perak.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Growling tummy rules the day!
But I guess at the end of the day, it matter not what we were doing, as long as we do it together. Plus the loving, tender meaningful words exchanged during the trip and after, were well worth whatever passionate rendezvous that we might have missed!
To my dearest, happy anniversary!
2. For most chalets, the electric runs only from 7pm to 9am since we are expected to be out of the bloody hot chalets to enjoy what the island has to offer. So for those city dwellers lazy bummers who cannot afford mild sun stroke or if you have babies or very delicate 'puteri lilin', you guys better opt for the slightly more expensive resort that offers 24 hours electricity with air-cond to boot!
4. Bring a hammock! Bring a book! Bring simple games!
Eg. Cards, Uno, Jenga or my favourite game of all time…scrabble!
Water is essential, it’s amazing how much water u need. We brought in 10 litres of Diamond Water…..it helps for a big family
The legal system in america is so out of whack that i am suprised the sheriff did not serve her time for her. The rich and powerful, once they are placed in jail, should stay there, too. Shows how money can talks. So much for equal justice!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
But sadly, all good things must come to an end!
Anyway, we saw among other things swordfish, turtles, black tip shark, Napoleon Head, Giant clam, squids, millions of colourful fishes, coastal pigeons and eagles, giant fruit bats devouring Buah Cikus in front of our Chalet, giant lizards i.e. Biawak, monkeys who looked like they’re wearing goggles and lots of bare chested bright pink skinned Caucasians. I also came across some really peculiar 'never seen before' animals. Very the scary mary one! Now, that's what I call a complete holiday!
Armed with our CROCS, we explored the island....by boat and on foot (habis CROCS!)
Food was cheapo! I’ve never eaten so much in 3 days I tell you. I can go on a full seafoodtarian diet!!! Mak suka giler hokay! But will all the amount of food I ate, I only poo pooed once and even that was minuscule in size. I missed my home toilet!!!! My butt cannot recognize its home so it refuses to generate!!! Hoh, poor me...
Travelling home was the price for the trip I tell you. The arduous journey was so horrible. Frodo had a better trip bringing his stupid ring to Mordor. Between boat rides and car rides, my journey home started at 12noon and I reached Kuantan (our stopover) at 7pm! Can like that meh? How many hours is that?!? You do the math.
So tired and so tanned……
Anyway, I’ll just sign off with this…
Did we or did we not:
1. Skinny dip? i.e. enjoying the sea la natural
2. Sunbathing in the nude? i.e. dyeing the birthday suit
3. Had sex in the water? i.e. mermaid coitus
4. Had wild sex on the beach under the moonlight and twinkling stars? i.e. wild sex on the beach under the
Friday, June 01, 2007
Boss: There is something fishy about Co. X. You may need to go in and check it out pronto.
Me: Can’t we do this next week? I’m off for my holiday tomorrow. *frown*
Boss: You may have to cancel.
Me: What?? I got people counting on me plus everything is paid for! I can’t cancel now.
Boss: Well, you just need to make some kind of arrangement. I want to see the result by Tuesday.
Me: Ok boss *in my mind-I want to strangle somebody*
Shit oh shit oh shit!
I so need a holiday. 15 hours to go and counting down.