Older yes, but wiser? maybe...

I think I look so much more mature and closer to my death now that I’ve just had my birthday. I can honestly say that ever since I turned thirty, for each birthday year, I actually answer "Yes" to when people ask if it feels different to be a year older. Thirties just has a feel to it. I don't know what that feel is, but I feel it! I got the Thirties in me!

To elaborate my point, read on...

My kindness to strangers sadly depends on the mood I'm in that day. One day I'll talk it up with them, be kind and helpful and generally a pleasant person. Other days they can all basically fuck off.

Now, before you start thinking I'm a dreadful person all the time, let me explain. I am not a complete sourpuss 24/7. It is just that I get irritated with inconsiderate and rude strangers and they put me in a foul mood and I'm not strong enough inside to rise above and not let them ruin my day.

Yesterday, on my way to the pasar malam, I stopped at a crosswalk for a young girl pushing a stroller. All of a sudden, a lady driver in a Honda City behind me started honking. I shut my car off, walked up to her window and offered her my keys. "Here, you run the girl and her baby down, I don't have the heart", I said.

What was her reaction? She reversed and drove off on the next lane.

What made me do it? Normally I would just grit my teeth and cursed in silence waiting patiently. But never before had I actually confronted a rude driver. After all, he could be a road bully for all I know. But at that point, I was neither scared nor cared. I was pissed!

I wonder now where all that bravery came from? Was it due to the thirties in me??

And to add salt to wound, I was called ‘makcik’ by a boy selling chicken rice. Makcik! Not even a ‘kakak’! I may be dressed in just a t-shirt and jeans and have no makeup on but to be addressed as a ‘makcik’! I don’t mind being addressed as aunty (he is a little boy after all) but a ‘makcik’. I don’t deserve that! Really! He was very lucky that I’ve paid for the rice; else I would have just left huffing and puffing till I blow his ‘gerai’ down. He was seriously lucky that I didn’t have the energy to kick his butt to Timbaktoo, wherever that is!

p/s Don’t leave me comments about makcik=aunty, bm=english translation and all that crap. I still think that an aunty sounds younger and hip than a makcik!

The day after...

I was serenaded by my dearest and cheeky bom bom at 10pm the night before my birthday. To all who smsed me yesterday, sorry I couldn’t reply coz one of my pressies was a new phone. By the time I finally switched on (by then, my old phone was already cheeky bom bom’s play thing), the incomings were too many to reply at one go…but I will reply. Tunggu….

This week we have so many makan-makan sessions, unit’s raya partylah, dept raya partylah and yesterday was the organization’s open house to celebrate the birthday girl (I wish!). I’m happy with all the free food, who wouldn’t be? But whatever miligrammes that I managed to get rid during the puasa month came back in tonnes with full vengeance!

A friend of mine suggested a rice free diet but I’m afraid such a diet will be like expecting a Kancil to beat a McLaren F1 in a drag race, Lindsay Lohan to ‘behave’ in public or expecting the bumbling idiot Mr Bean to be debonair and charming like Prince William…. It’s a nice thought…..but have u ever heard of the saying…Yeeah!! When pigs fly!!!!

Anyway, during one of the face stuffing gluttony open house sessions, we decided to have the technician hook up a karaoke set in the hall for the karaoke junkies to belt their hearts out to the raya songs. When the gang (myself included) were hogging the mic, one of our colleagues stood by listening to us practically ‘Menyumbangkan’ lagu raya. Out of courtesy, we offered her the mic and to my surprise, she actually accepted it and started singing. No, she didn’t sound like the late Rafeah Buang or Sharifah Aini, in fact she sounded like she was in excruciating agony as if someone banged her big toe with a wooden mallet!! But here was a person who looks like even a butterfly can scare her to death, you can hardly hear a squeak from her during the day, without hesitation accepted our invitation.

Don’t judge a book by its cover…. Or the power of persuasion due to American Idol and AF!

I’ve been here for a year and there were many times I was surprised as such. Here, people don’t seem to have a shy bone. Every time I go to some courses or to some presentations, its normal to see people actually scrambling to put their hands up or go to the mic to ask questions or give their opinions.

Wah Lau weh!! In my previous lifetime, I would expect very few people to have the guts to go up to the mic and ask/give questions to the presenter in front of hundreds of people. But not here! It’s a good thing actually coz naturally I’m shy person. But being surrounded by these confident and robust styled personalities, I can’t afford to be seen as one. I can see now why we had to undergo a series of exams and series of interviews before being accepted into this esteemed organisation! It pays to really select your employees.

Not being able to express your feelings clearly is actually a disease that’s quite norm nowadays. My sis in law who is an HR manager said that out of 100 candidates she interviews, less than 5% was able to talk (and this was done in their own mother tongue! Belum lagi in English!). Oh sure, anyone can talk, but I mean really talk, really able to express their views in a convincing way…not talk cock, any cock can talk, cock talking or To’kok is common among people who don’t know very much but want to be seen as knowledgeable, u can tell by their laugh….sooo loud and just plain annoying.

Being able to write is not a skill anymore. With internets, plagiarism is norm. But being able to talk! Now, that is something no one can give you. It’s skill that you have to teach yourself!
So how do we cure this? Parents? Education? Peers? Banning Prof Razak Mydin’s anak mami movies?

I’ve got a neighbour who is an English teacher but in my 5 years of knowing her, I have never ever ever heard her speak in English. Scary eh?

Another year has gone by...

Btw today is my birthday…..so its been 365 days since I started this blog…. Thank you for your support and good wishes….my account no is 8273468732 if u must insist in showing your appreciation….I also accept cash vouchers from Robinson’s, Tangs, Isetan, Marks & Sparks…what the heck!! Any type of free gifts, supplementary credit & charge cards and Digi top-up cards also can-lah!!

Rounding up the Kasbon clans

With a 5 inch booklet of paper work guiding our every move, what can go wrong at a family get together?

Absolutely nothing! It was picture perfect. 3 days of social activities, never ending food, crisp cool weather and nightly movie watching made perfect by from a movie projector. Life was full, simple and happy!

To avoid extended families brushing shoulders without recognising each other, the Kasbon clan members has been organising a yearly ‘Raya’ get together for the past 10 years. The clan being so big, attendance could easily reach 60 to 90 souls. Since the family is scattered all over Malaysia (of course majority being in Johor), the clan has been devided into 3 zones, north, middle and south clans.

This year, it was the north zone’s turn to organise…. which was us, as my father in law is the Tutti de Capo Tutti of the Clan being the first son of the family, he had graciously passed over the job of being head of committee to my dearest, his first born son.

We started the organising process since before Ramadhan. After rounds of meeting with the north clan, my dearest with the help of his efficient father, came up with the paper work that was to be our guiding light for the event. We have chosen Fraser Hill to be the place for our meet since there are plenty of bungalows that can cater to our need to accommodate a large group of people with spacious areas for activities purposes.

Being young and hip (ahem ahem), we decided to revolutionise the whole event starting with a door gift consist of the clan own t-shirt, digital data imaging registration, to a multimedia presentation on the family history to fun family activities ranging from telematches (adult, children and family), cooking class, tazkirah ugama, various competition including pertandingan azan and also a short course on mind mapping.

Sounds full but it was done in a short and fun manner which managed to bring out the hidden talent of many ie being emcee, being a presenter, being a teacher and also being a leader. Any feeling of shyness, low self esteem or timid ness goes out into the cool Fraser Hill’s air the moment the clans arrived.

When I see the clan left the place yesterday morning all smiles, laden with gifts and leftover food, I applauded my dearest for a hard job well done! It was no easy task to make nearly 70 people satisfied but he did it (with our help of course..tsk tsk).

Tummy ache anyone?

Gained few pounds…check
Bank balance reduced considerably…check
Feeling extremely knackered….check
Feeling contented…check
Having severe tummy ache…check

... er, i guess this post is an obligatory Eid Mubarak post

Since the passing of the last of our grandparents last year within months of each other, me and my dearest no longer have a kampung to call our own….tsk…tsk..tsk… Henceforth our Raya will be celebrated in Muddy Rivermouth i.e. KL.

So was it a fun raya? Hell, whomever that said KL will be a dead town was wrong! WRONG I tell you! The road was jammed up all the way from our house (yes that tempat jin bertendang) right to his parents in Sg Besi and my parents in Ampang!! Where did all these cars came from? It was just like your everyday mad rush hour traffic! And the newly built three stories high mosque in Sg Besi was actually packed to the brim with the majority being Africans and Bangladeshis.

So it was not a quiet raya as we all had expected since most of the extended families decided to spend their 1st day raya at their better halves’ side but it was fun nevertheless. As we grow older, I guess, the excitement to celebrate Raya just seems to fade. But it was still fun seeing some of the family members, exchanging stories and whatnots. Raya is probably about the only time we get to see our extended family and really talk. Yes, yes, we do meet during kenduris or weddings or parties but most of us will be busy with other duties limiting conversation time. But not raya! Raya is when we get to gossip!

There were plenty of houses to visit to fill the void made by puasa in our tummy, plenty of balang kuih to raid and most of all plenty of duit raya to collect for cheeky bom bom!

So yeah, we had a blast on our 1st day of raya!

Amidst all the fun, of course we missed the crazy sister in Brisbane. Our first raya without her. And dad didn’t make it any easier too. The man who was a tyrant in my younger days. The only person whom I was afraid of, not even mom! Just one look from his eyes can make all your bones shudder! No need rotan rotan also. Anyway, I could see his eyes all red and shiny after the long distance phonecall. Mom has always been the waterworks but I guess old age can mellow even a tiger of a man. But I’m sure crazy sister, El is having a blast as I did during my first raya away from home. Surrounded by friends, learning to cook your 1st raya meal, decorating your own pad for the raya gathering, yeah, definite fun!

2nd day raya was extra special because it was my dearest’ birthday. I didn’t know what to give him so I gave him shopping vouchers (hoping he had no clue how to use em’ and pass it back to me!!). We painted the town searching high and low to splurge his gifts on but he couldn’t find anything to buy. Men! I would have finished them in seconds!

Anyway on the 3rd day we were down with a tummy-ache...actually it was food poisoning but since I got a lil history with food poisoning, that granted me a lil immunity...so less severe and less painful but still lots of trips to the loo!

So in conclusion, raya in KL does not take up too much of our time. In the kampungs, it would take few days to cover the houses that we must visit but in KL, it just took us 1 day to cover everyone. Less time, less headache, less duit raya to fork out albeit the jamlah!

And we still have the big Kasbon Clan family gathering (my dearest side) to look forward to this weekend in Fraser Hill!

Part 2 - And here we go!

Here’s the bigger picture! Bet you didn’t think of this! No, AllyMcBeal, its definitely not THAT!!!

My point is, we always look at the smaller picture and deduced so many things from it but the truth is normally quite far from it.

We look at the stars every night and will be thinking what a big universe it is out there but again the truth is not near enough to comprehend.

It’s the same with the pictures! Imagine what we are looking at (our skyline) is only a spec of the Milky Way. Imagine if we were able to look at the big picture, it will be awesome and petty things will not matter anymore. It shows how small, micro even Nano & insignificant we are compared to what God has created …. Humans have only explored and understood soooo little & yet some of us actually dare to question or doubt God!!

Staggering ain’t it!

To Dr. Sheikh who is about to view that piece of spec from a pedestal closer than any Malaysian has ever been, the first Malaysian to see earth from space, I wish you god speed.

No matter what people say about you, Astronout/Cosmonout or ‘Can or Not??’ questioning your sexual preferences, being just a space tourist or a poster boy for Malaysia, all that does not matter. You are about to put Malaysia on the world map (out of this world actually) and nothing is more satisfying than that. You started by beating millions of other sperms when u won the race to fertilise your mom’s egg ….!!, you have beaten thousands of other Malaysian hopefuls for the space race… so who’s to say u don’t deserve the accolade..

Years ago people said the same thing when Edison kept on failing with his experiments (why waste time and money). Little that they know that his little shed of light was a catalyst to many other inventions.

Therefore, I toast you Dr. Sheikh! Go do your thang! Have a safe, wonderful and historical journey!

To all my Muslim readers, ‘Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri’ and to all, have a safe and happy holiday!

p.s.
The first Muslim to spend Eid Mubarak in space….
The first Malay in space….
The first MRSM alumni in space…
The first man to eat roti canai in space…
The cutest astro/cosmonout by far compared to the Yankees and Roughneck Russians
Upon return …. The most eligible Malaysian bachelor….I can go on & on & on….

1st Part

What is this?

Lame post ahead!

Hey people! I broke my fast yesterday at Lemon, a restaurant that belongs to David Teo, the film producer. The ambience, food and prices was okaylah.

But the company! Now, I’ve had my share of rubbing shoulders with Malaysian actresses and actors but yesterday was somewhat different.

Among them were Fasha Sandha and Pierre Andre, they were so good looking and nice! I thought they would put their nose so high in the air, they’d create another hole in the ozone layer but noooo. They actually smiled and mingled freely with other patrons. And she was beautiful, her skin was flawless *major envy, grrr*. He was as tall as my dearest but a little less good looking (kena kipas sikit, he reads my blog….)

I had trouble keeping my eyes focused!! I kept glancing at the window and all the corners of the restaurant trying to catch a glimpse of a levitating corpse but I didn’t check what was behind me….Jangan Pandang Belakang!!!

Muahahahaaa

The end!

What I heard over the weekend!

Lady # 1 – Abang, sekali-sekala kita kena masuk jugak dalam kedai. Yang kat luar ni mungkin tak sama dengan yang kat dalam tu.

Lady # 2 – Cepatlah sikit, terhegeh-hegehlah awak ni. Banyak lagi tempat lain kita nak kena pergi ni. Lambat nanti habis pulak barangnya.

Lady # 3 - Where were you? I terjerit-jerit panggil you nak tengok I try baju tadi!

Lady # 4 – Yes I know I dah try baju ni tadi but I must try again to show you pulak!

And they all wore the same expressions on their faces:

The ladies – Excited, in a frenzy, harried, a lady with a mission look

The men – Bored, bemused, resigned, vacant look as if wishing he was at home watching President’s Cup!

The children – Busy playing games, talking on the phones or listening to Ipods.

And when you see this, you know raya is just around the corner!