Happy New Year Y'all!

Yeah, sue me for being a procrastinator!

But between 11.18am on Friday until 15.04pm on Monday, I just couldn’t find any time slot to start blogging. Gila babas sibuk! Not with work mind you but more with my social life. Whatever that I was going to bitch here the other day are so last year’s news. Since it is the last day of 2007, it’s befitting if I dedicate my post today exclusively for it!

Somewhere in the world now it is already 2008. But for us, we still have about few more hours to go. I’m not going to be at a black tie function, I’m not going to KLCC or any other places in town to celebrate and I’m not even going to a friend's New Year's Eve party that I’m supposed to attend. Instead, at midnite today, I will be at home with my dearest and cheeky bom bom, showered and in our pajamas watching Astro switching between channel 615, 703, 712, 411-413 and the sport channels.

As for the New Year, last year we were asleep before midnight. So for this year, it is our goal to at least see the new year arrive, toast a glass of sparkling non-alcoholic drink, kiss, say "happy new year" and then go to bed. It's still pathetic, but much less pathetic than going to sleep in 2006 and waking up in 2007.

2007! To recap! I won't make a list of what I learned because, well, it is better left unwritten. Some things don't need to be put into words. But I will say this....Power is good and power is sweet. I’ve mentioned before how my new job gave me an extraordinary power to make my ex-bosses from my previous company to report to me. Nooo, I don’t abuse my power *wink* but a mere phone call to them was enough to get them stutter over the phone. Our roles have been reversed. The meek is now the mighty. That alone is a powerful knowledge. Never tread on someone else’s shoes because you’ll never know when the table might turn on you.

For the first time in my life, I'm honestly ready for the New Year. I'm reenergized and waiting to take it on. I am stronger in mind and body and will continue to build my confidence as the person I am. I have all the blessings I could want in my life... now it's time to enjoy them and live my life as the strong and confident person I can absolutely be.

So, there will be lots of living to be done...living as I know how. Remember, I am awesome. Everyday I will remind myself of that and then everything else will fall into place, because it just has to. You can remind yourselves that I'm awesome every day too. That way you can say you know the awesomest person ever and you'll feel more important and therefore your lives will be better too. Go ahead... you have my permission *grin*

Finally, I just want to say thank you all for reading this blog, leaving your comments, supporting me and laughing with me. It does mean a lot...more than you know. I have met some amazing people through this "public journaling" and I'll never forget that.

My best wishes for a happy new year to all of you and your families.

Happy New Year, be safe, live happy and hold your heads high, always. It's gonna be a great 2008! Because I'm awesome and I said so!

MinahSepet out.

Few days before new year!

I haven’t had such a happening short break from work for a long time. Shit I don’t even know where to start bitching. Ok ok ok…..we’ll do it chronologically no?

First thing first! I’ve just ordered the coolest ‘something’ on the planet. Really, it is going to transform my dorky mama ass into the coolest chic in the universe. Or at least maybe the coolest chic in KL? No? Ok, maybe just the coolest chic in my tempat jin bertendang? OK FINE! THE COOLEST CHIC ON MY STREET. Happy?

I know you are peeing with excitement but you’ll just have to wait like the rest of us for the ‘something’ to arrive before I can start showing off!

Anyhow, my raya was a bit mundane. Nothing much to do besides ogling the chosen lembus, kerbaus and kambings, all waiting for its turn to be sacrificed. Nothing exciting here, so I’ll skip this part!

On to the next story which I will tell you tomorrow…ngeh ngeh ngeh!

Patience my grass hoppers! Patience! Tomorrow will come…pinky promise!

Last post before Christmas!

Today I’m happy! I’m grinning from ear to ear! I am RM100 and 1 bottle of Rasberry Carbonated Drink richer courtesy of my department’s staff recognition award! Glad that all the hard work throughout the year was somewhat recognized by others.

If you want to gauge my mood, all you have to do is examine my face. If I don’t approve, you will sure as hell know it, either from my scowl, or from my cutting remarks. If I’m happy, the whole world will be affected by it. If not from my words, then from my countenance and body language. Some times, I wish I were a better faker. But I am what I am!

I also have a bad habit of giving people a death stare when I am especially unhappy. Maybe I was dragged to a meeting, or a place, or a dinner against my wishes, or perhaps my viewpoint or ego is being run over by others in the room or maybe I have an unfavorable opinion of the speaker − all you have to do is read my face and you will know from my unnerving frown. Quite frankly, I don’t even like the death stare. It’s not contrived at all; it’s just me in my head and my body saying: “this is not to my liking.” And at the end I’ll be frowning but my mouth will be smiling putting across a cynical look on my face! This is really not a pretty sight to behold!

Too bad I have stage fright and can't act, or I could rival the devil who wears Prada herself.

Anyway, I have decided that my new year’s resolution for this year is that I would try and control my facial expressions and would also stop re-evaluating everything and over analyzing things. It's a vicious mental battle and I hate every last second of it. Dwelling... oh the dwelling. The joys of being a mental case.

Let’s see what the New Year will bring!

Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha and Merry Christmas to all!

Please drive safely to wherever you're going!

Naughty or nice?

So what if my team got 2nd place in the bowling tournament last Friday!

So what if because of that losing streak, we did not managed to bag the overall winner’s title!

So what if, as the staffs club treasurer entrusted to buy the gifts for the winner, I’m toying with the idea of buying something less attractive than originally planned if my team had win!

So what if I will be labeled as sore loser!

Revenge is sweet, money is power and I have the power over both!

The question now is whether I am a nice girl or not! And it's not as if I'm expecting Santa to bring me any gifts this year!

Muahahaha *devil’s laugh*

Between sweat, swearing and a song!

On the way back home yesterday, my car’s engine died just in front of Dayabumi. Luckily it was downhill all the way down to the junction nearby KTM so I had to steer my shitty car that I have clocked million of miles on!

I was glad that I actually managed to park the car at a safe place without disturbing the traffic flow. I got off the rush hour traffic with all my body parts intact and a semblance of a car.

Oh…btw…I apologize to my dearest and my parents whom I called and freaked out to on the phone…I am what you might call “not-ms-fix-it”. I can change the oil…and jump the battery (but I only know how to do that because I had gone through a period of about 6 months where I had left my lights on about 23 times…the last straw being when my car died about a month ago at the drive through window of the McDonalds due to the battery just completely having enough of me and my crap.

So today I’m car-less! With the promise of la la land tonight, my dearest kindly send me to work.

Anyway, yesterday, the organization was buzzing with results of the staffs year end performance review. From miles away, you can see people with long faces that looks like their cat just died, people with angry faces that look like their car got scratched by some hooligans and some people with happy stupid wide grin on their faces like they’ve just won the lottery.

And they say that performance review’s result must be kept confidential!

All about tagging!

Tagged by Miss Sarclover!

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.

My dearest! Dia sangat hairan bagaimana saya boleh tidur dengan nyenyak walaupun bunyi TV adalah seperti orang sedang berpesta (dia lupa bahawa telinga saya sedang pekak sebelah disebabkan demam selsema)

2. What were you doing at 0800?

Saya sedang dibuat mimpi yang indah kerana mendapat cuti sakit!

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Facebooking!

4. What happened to you in 2006?

Saya mendapat kerja baru yang telah memberi saya kuasa luarbiasa untuk membuat bekas majikan saya memberi report kepada saya

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

Awatlah slow sangat computer ni!

6. How many beverages did you have today?

Entahlah labu....

7. What color is your hairbrush?

Hitam dalam bilik saya, putih dalam toilet saya, hitam dalam kereta, merah dalam handbag dan biru di bilik belakang! WOW!..saya tak sangka saya ada banyak berus rambut!

8. What was the last thing you paid for?

RM1 untuk mushroom goreng.

9. Where were you last night?

Berdating dengan pakar ENT di biliknya yang sangat sejuk membuatkan saya terpaksa berkemut untuk menahan rasa nak terkencing!

10. What color is your front door?

Chocolate brown!

11. Where do you keep your change?

Merata-rata!

12. What’s the weather like today?

Hari ini sangat best, hari ini tak hujan, tidak seperti semalam!

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?

Apa-apa brand asalkan chocolate kerana saya hantu chocolate!

14. What excites you?

Cerita blue!

15. Do you want to cut your hair?

Oh tidak! Muka saya adalah sangat bulat menjadikan saya tidak sesuai berambut pendek.

16. Are you over the age of 25?

Sadly, ya!

17. Do you talk a lot?

Saya rasa saya sangat pendiam tapi ramai juga yang mengatakan saya ini agak bising orangnya. Dalam report kad sekolah saya juga, cikgu saya banyak kali menulis bahawa saya banyak bercakap dalam kelas dan dia menyarankan agar saya senyap sedikit.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?

Cerita muda mudi yang gemar berpesta yang siarannya agak lambat itu? Oh, saya sudah tidur waktu itu!

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?

Steven Spielberg boleh?

20. Do you make up your own words?

Kalau saya sebutkan nama special yang saya berikan kepada sesuatu benda yang memberi saya kenikmatan yang tidak terhingga, mungkin anda boleh pengsan!

21. Are you a jealous person?

Oh teramat sangat!

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.

Aliya!

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.

Kelly! Sebenarnya nama dia Khalijah tapi ditukar menjadi Kelly!

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?

Buah hati saya!

25. What does the last text message you received say?

Jealousnya! (Kawan saya merasa jealous sebab saya dapat cuti sakit walaupun sebenarnya takde maknanya cuti sakit itu kerana saya agak menderita dengan telinga pekak sebelah membuatkan saya tidak shiok tengok TV)

26. Do you chew on your straw?

Kadang-kadang bila tiada apa nak buat!

27. Do you have curly hair?

Hehe…ada! Dimana? Disitulah….

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?

Selepas ini saya akan naik ke bilik dan tidur!

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

Semalam saya telah berlumba kereta dengan seorang mamat berbaju merah di dalam kereta Wira biru. Ya, buat saat ini, dia adalah manusia paling kurang ajar dalam hidup saya!

30. What was the last thing you ate?

Mushroom!

31. Will you get married in the future?

Saya pernah nikah sekali dan sudah banyak kali berkahwin dan besar kemungkinan akan berkahwin lagi pada malam ini!

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?

Enchanted dan The Holiday!

33. Is there anyone you like right now?

Sekarang ini saya sedang berangan tentang Brad Pitt dan Angkasawan Malaysia! Oh dan juga suami saya!

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?

Setiap hari saya terpaksa basuh pinggan mangkuk jadi soalan ini tidak berapa relevan bagi saya!

35. Are you currently depressed?

Ya kerana telinga saya pekak sebelah!

36. Did you cry today?

Ya ketika saya menonton satu cerita di HBO yang ending dia agak sedih membuatkan saya meraung sedikit!

37. Why did you answer and post this?

Kerana saya tengah bosan!

38. People I want to tag next:

Hezzy
Tiena
Juan
Lil’ Miss Easydent
Mima

Say what???? Louder lah!!

I wrote earlier about being in dire straits with band new strain of heavy flu, colds and what naught. The bug has somewhat effected my hearing, blocking up that thingamagic tube between my eardrums and throat which makes me feel as if I’m in NASA’s echo chamber. Yesterday, after few days of being miserable, I finally couldn’t take it anymore and went to see an ENT specialist. More bad news…. coz whatever that’s effecting my hearing will only go away in a week or so (provided I diligently take the medicinelah which includes pumping steroid up my nostril, a natural behavior for Kate Moss in a night club NOT me in my PJ’s!!).

Can you imagine going through 2 functions that I was heavily involved, with a partially deaf ear?

1. Annual high tea afternoon for our organization’s ladies club:

Where I discovered that I really love learning all sort of dances but of course being born with 2 left feet, I had to settle for performing tarian endang which was more on the hand movements rather than feet. We had only a month to organize the function and when the day actually came, tension was pretty high because at the finest hour, we got to know that our guest of honour was our biggest boss. Things went well and she was smiling. Being who she is, I guess she doesn’t have time to enjoy all the girly things. I’ve asked her once about life at the top, and she said it’s very lonely and she can’t really have close friends for fear of being seen as favouritism, nepotism and all that jazz.

Show hands who wants to be at the top then? Not me that’s for sure!

2. Department’s family day in Sunway Lagoon.

Is there anywhere else in KL that we can have a proper family day? Year in, year out, it seems that most companies will have their family day in Sunway Lagoon! The place is nice and they have proper event management team but enough already. It gets boring when you can more or less know what’s coming. And the sad part is that the event management co. is Singaporean, don’t we Malaysian have enough talents? I thought we Malaysian should rock when it comes to organise good fun event!

Am I lonesome tonight?

I could have kicked my own ass all the way to Timbuktu tonight!

I got what I wished for…Free tickets to Whitney’s concert!! (literally) but….. I GAVE it away to crazy sisters’ friends!

I must be the world’s biggest loser right now!

With my hectic schedule, I did not have the time to bring cheeky bom bom anywhere even though it’s school holiday. So a week ago, I’d promised her that today was going to be her day! How was I supposed to know about those tickets?

So like a devoted mother, I brought her to the movies for ‘Enchanted’, games store, pet store, toy shops, ice cream parlour and everything else a little girl’s heart desires.

By the time we got back home I was dead on my feet. That’s when I decided to give away the tickets!

At 9pm tonight, I got to know that many free tickets are floating in KL! Many of my chummies are going to the concert (and they all thought I was already among the crowd swaying my cute tush at the concert!!!)

So here I am, in my little teddies….slightly torn yet again, in my bed, feeling very furious with myself, green with envy imagining that my buddies are enjoying themselves together, jealously hoping that its going to rain so that they won’t be having too much fun, going to sleep immersed with deep disappointment!

If I die in my sleep tonight, I’m going to die dissapointed!

Friends, please spare me with the concert’s details okay? Deal?

Losing is not an option!

Friendly matches are never gracious! People still play to win and will do just about anything for victory. Last week during the inter-dept games, even our biggie boss was playing dirty to ensure her team is spared from the agony of defeat. Sadly though, with the majority of us with two left feet…my team didn’t do all that well. We are now down by almost 4 points from the leading team. And we only have 1 or maybe 2 more games to go! I foresee more cheating, more cunning strategies and perhaps the ultimate line of attack would be to send a specific power player from the winning team for a course in Timbuktu for a fortnight so we could take pleasure in the sweet smell of victory. Now that’s what I call Team Strategy by Sabotage!

I hope I don’t look as Jurassic as I feel! I was literally a drug addict last week and probably this week too. With so many activities lined up week after week with no chance of parole over any day, not even the weekend, my body is aching all over, I feel tired all the time and my eyes are puffy from lack of sleep. I’ve been popping Neorofen and antibiotics like Smarties that if we were to have a drug test for the inter-dept games, I would be their first victim to be booted out!

And they say sports are good for you….

Sleep over!

I’m re-living the nostalgia of my childhood thru cheeky bom bom. Last weekend I arranged her very 1st slumber party. She was allowed to invite only 5 of her closest friends. We started out the night with a poison box game to break the ice. Then there were playing with fire crackers, treasure hunting and modelling inclusive of a ‘cat-walk’ show! Girls being girls, no matter at what age, they are certainly interested in boys, clothes, make-ups and gossips! And these girls were no exception! I lent them my makeup kit and told them to surprise me with their artwork once done. They came down ½ hour later complete with evening dresses (courtesy of my daughters’ wardrobe), full makeup with hair nicely made-up! They even did a short runaway stint in front of us. Later that evening, shamelessly I eavesdropped on them gossiping about some of the boys…and we are talking about girls ranging from 4 to 8 years old! What’s next….birds & the bees???

Note to myself! Crazy sister El can actually keep a secret! She came back to Malaysia a day earlier than she was supposed to and nearly gave poor mum a heart attack when mum woke up with crazy sis El’s face looming above her at 5 am!

How cool is dat?

Am I not cool?

Crazy sis, Tish said that I and the sane sister were uncool just because we refused to part with RM260 to go to Whitney’s concert this weekend with the three crazy sisters!

We had the chance to enjoy Whitney’s concert when we were in the UK during her dwindling career in the late 90’s…but now??? RM260 for a show by a junkie? Did her re-hab cost that much? Or did Bobby use up all their dosh on coke? 13-21 year olds going to Whitney’s concert is cool?? That’s like me telling the world that it’s cool to go to Barry Manillow’s concert in Genting!! ‘Her name was Lola….she was a showgirl…lalala Copacabanaaaa…..

We would if somebody gave us free tickets and apologise for calling us uncool..sob sob!

Somebody is sooooo NOT getting any pressies for her next birthday! Hmpphh!

A little revelation!

Do I have any talents? No. Zero! Unless you call being able to name almost any handbags by label and designer, yes, I do have a talent. Albeit, completely useless unless my career path were to lead me into being a professional crime witness involving identifying handbags. I don't think that pays very well.

Or so I thought!

As Eleanor Roosevelt said:

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she’s in hot water”.

When it comes to handling life's big and little situations, you probably have quite a few skills that you don't think twice about. Life sends a challenge your way; you stay strong in the moment, and then figure out which skills are needed to handle it.

Today a colleague pointed out a fact that I have missed. I have been consulted by quite a number of people when they ran into a problem. I realized then I’m pretty good at manipulating potential disasters into personal glories.

So I guess I do have a talent! Even if it’s just the ability to do some quick thinking in order to solve a problem.

In my personal and professional experience, I have passed at least one hot water test.

I bet you have too!

So! What special skills/strengths do you have for handling life's big and little situations?

Come what may...Part 2!

Something a bit more educational today....

4. For people who are lucky enough to have a pension scheme, their livelihoods are going to be guaranteed with no worries as to where the next meal is coming from upon retirement. But for normal people like you and me who have to depend on EPF for our golden years, EPF is not going to be enough!!! Statistic shows that on average, most people will finish off their EPF money within 3 years of receiving it. And then what? These people are forced to live off their children or worse still, forced to work! Scary? Well, that’s the reality. But the good thing is, I’m pretty sure all of uol’s (including yours truly) are still young! We still have time to save. For the Bumis, forget about unit trusts, shares, fds, etc! Concentrate on maximising your ASB and ASWawasan which will give a steady return of between 8-10% annually! Save now! NOW you hear! Btw, do you know that you can engage a PNB’s agent to transfer % of your EPF fund 1 into ASWawasan for higher return? No? Never heard of that? Well now you do.

You learned something new today haven’t you!

5. For Muslims, I’m sure you’ve heard the hassle and difficulty of going thru Faraid when death occurs. Well, happy news is here. You can do your Will at Amanah Raya and all instructions will be followed thru upon you kicking the bucket. An official Will supersedes all. Why am I talking about this? Well, I have one daughter! Having faced with many deaths in the family lately, I’m worried when my time is up and my daughter will get peanuts! Asking here and there, I have found out about this method which will ensure her inheritance. At the moment her inheritance ain’t much apart from the house, a Silver nose hair tweezers handed to me from ‘Furrball’, my hairy great granduncle and my collection of slightly torn Victoria Secret Lingerie, thanks to my overly amorous dearest on our first night in Bali (Honeymoon maaaa!)

So go, I urged all of you to take advantage of what AR can do!

Come what may...Part 1

Life has been pretty hectic with really bad weather, a viral flu attack and lots of unfortunate events. Amidst sniffles, echoing ears, dizziness and a nose resembling Rudolf, I’m typing away furiously as if it’s my last memoir on some stuff that I’ve learned over the week….

1. I have never played Darts before and have always thought that it’s a game for beer bellied British yobs that have had wee bit too much to drink at the local Pub! Well this week, having been down with flu, I have decided to play the so called ‘Poor Man’s Archery’ for my inter department’s games. Yeah, it’s easy to just throw randomly at the board but what I didn’t know was the catch at the end! I didn’t know that in order to win, we needed to finish off with a double! It was bloody difficult I tell you! Unless your aim is as accurate as cupid, have steady wrists, a proud owner of a huge beer belly that act as a balancing counter weight (proving gravity exists) and you have been playing everyday since 1968, then it’s going to be peanuts for youlah! But for a novice like me…hell, I’d have a better chance to bed Brad Pitt AND Clooney at the same time!!!

I shall never pooh pooh those who can master the so called easy game, again!

2. When one had to attend a seminar with delegates from all over the world, one tends to find that the world is indeed very small and it’s getting smaller! Small because I had the good fortune to meet few of my uni mates of the same industry who came from various places around the world during a financial forum session in M’sia last week. Smaller because some of them are already in ‘Facebook’ thus I’m expecting to reconnect with them pretty soon!

3. Is 1st Runner-up the best among the losers or the first LOSER?? Some play only to win, one will find all sorts of ways to win. Last weekend, my so called ‘Community of Suburbia’ had a ‘pesta muhibah’ where each Cul de Sac on Westeria Lane had to set up a free food booth. On the eleventh-hour, we discovered that there was actually a prize for the most attractive and happening booth. We were pretty relaxed about it even though our booth was really bare whilst the other booths were decorated with flowers, balloons, banners, their grandmothers..etc. But one of my neighbours was so upset that she kicked a fuss with the organiser for not telling us about the competition and huffing and puffing she drove off leaving us dazed. She came back few minutes later, her car packed to the brim with literally her whole house’s contents! She brought flower pots, curtains, her children’s white board, table cloth, etc, you name it, everything but the kitchen sink!! And I must say that the booth looked pretty amazing once she finished decorating but she was still not satisfied! We were told… err actually, we were Ordered to wear red t-shirts for the night. With fire in her eyes, red sweaty face and sticky oily hair, we were not going to argue with this demonic looking fire breathing soccer mother of three. Grown men and women, children from all ages, all nodding in defeat, recognising Hitler was in the house. Believe it or not, we actually won the main prize which we gave to her of course.

No Fear Never Surrender!

To be continued...

Between close friends and family!

Despite changing the date of the gathering at the very last minute, miraculously, our potluck Raya gathering was still..On. Although the attendance was a mere 43% of the old CBN rat pack gang but because the rats had already littered with smaller rodents i.e. family has been extended to include husbands and children, it was still a full house!



Of course having a celebrity as a friend came with a price. We were badgered the night before to part with our precious pre-paid credits to vote for her and her husband on Astro’s new reality show ‘Sehati Berdansa’ and the first question that popped out from her yesterday was of course ‘did we vote for her’. We made a pact with her husband there and then and I’m putting it here to seal the deal that in return for our votes, if they win the 1st price which rumoured to be a Mini Cooper (at press time, the grand prizes remains a surprise), he would have to chauffer us for a day to the coolest celebrity infested places in KL. Hey..how many times does one get to have a celebrity a their beak and call right? We all were glad to find out last night that they have received the highest vote..so far! Go Vanida..Go Shidee! Break a leg!!

Ops on that note, we did vote for Rai & Zain, Shazlin & Radhi too, the ladies being an ex-cbners too and Rai being part of our gang’s extended friends…so Go people! May the best couple win! And the judge was Linda Jasmine…. A former CBNer herself….. aci ke tak aci…dono lah!!

On the way home, we decided to surprise my dearest’s father with a birthday cake even though his birthday is today. Since all his siblings live just 5 minutes away, we requested everyone to join us. With a cake in hand and candles all stuck in, we waited for the others behind a tree in front of the house. 5 minutes passed and they were still not there. Turned out they were waiting for the children to write some birthday cards. We had to go back to the car with the cake still in hand praying that his dad will not come out from the house and see us. Our ready excuses ranged from ‘Kami dari Madrasah Al-Hikmah, Sungai Golok, Yala nak meminta derma…’ to ‘Someone came by and sold us the cake’ and to just stay down and pray that he will not notice our car!

But the bombshell was really a surprise to him. It was quite funny coz he was actually out under the porch and was doing some carpentry. And there we were all trying to suck in our tummy (try more than 5 minutes….its pretty impossible!) hiding behind the tree, trying to light the candles (which was pretty difficult to do with the wind blowing hard) and trying to keep the children quiet (which we failed miserably) but not once did he even looked up from his work! Deaf I don’t think so but dedicated in his work oblivious to his surrounding was more like it!

It was nice to see him all smiles and in good health being surrounded by his family celebrating his 65th birthday when just a couple of months ago we were all on our toes praying hard for him when he had to undergone his triple bypass surgery.

Life is short so live it well!

In my case, spurred by the previous event, I will now start dubbing songs, that can turn me on, into 1 cd *wink with devil's gleam in the eyes*

A fine line between love and hate!

Over the week, I have learned 2 things!

1. I luuuurve Gamelan music!

During my function yesterday, the mesmerizing sensual melodious sound affected me so much that I found myself practically swinging my arms in tune with the dancers like a lovesick elephant. I did dabble a bit in the Gamelan music way back in college but it had left no profound effect on me except when I encounter rude drivers on Malaysian roads… macam nak ketuk-ketuk kepala depa!!

But yesterday, strangely I felt moved and felt sexy at the same time. Truthfully, I felt horny! Damn! I wonder where I can learn to play the instrument… before I start playing my dearest’s organ? Anyone?

2. I hate facebook!

I felt that all the poking, kicking, kissing, slapping..etc was a waste of time and was pointless and childish. But I also found myself to be daydreaming about the actions I was going to do to my friends next. I found myself itching to log on unto facebook when I should be paying attention to my research. In short, facebook is slowly ruining my life and my attention span! But I love the fact that I was able to give virtual gifts to friends on the birthday (yeah sue me coz I’m cheap!), I was able to see how their days are faring and most importantly, I was able to hook up with some long lost friends. I was never into Friendster or Myspace so I really can’t compare but if these two sites are anything like facebook, damn I should have joined ages ago!

So now not only my attention span is shorter and what bit of memory space I have, has been taken over by vampire slayers, quizzes, picture of fishes swimming in aquarium..etc, I am also one horny bitch with gamelan music playing in the background!

Facebook me !!!

Ikhlas tapi jauh!

It’s not Raya if there’s no marathon of open houses. And like the previous weekend, we were all over the city racing from Kajang to Ampang to Subang and even to Klang. It’s not even about the food; it’s about seeing friends & family who otherwise we don’t get to see due to busy schedules. Once in awhile you get to sample different types of food but most of the time, you’ll turn sick with the same old ‘Rendang-Kuah Kacang & Nasi Impit Combo’…ever so often the host will try his/her best to entice you to sample ‘their’ version of Chef Wan’s or even Nigella Lawson’s Rendang recipe, believe me…RENDANG is RENDANG however exotic it may sound!!!

Tip #1: Always stick to the same story… sensitive stomach after hari raya and stick with the krepeks and the light stuff!

At the end of the marathon, we decided to finally grab a proper dinner at Sri Hartamas. Amidst the elated hurrah of Arsenal fans celebrating the equaliser on the 91st minute and dejected moans of MU’s fans (Hahahahaaa Padan Muka!!!), we saw a blind person going from table to table asking (I’m being polite here!) for donations. Later as we got in our car parked quite a distance away, we saw the same ‘blind person’ walking past swinging his stick, practically skipping and whistling at the same time!

Tip #2: Never judge a book by its cover and when u feel like donating… don’t past judgement, always give in your ‘Ikhlas’ mode and never be pressured to give because u don’t wanna look like a cheapskate or just to shoo the guy away…

That my dear readers, is how you can make a fast buck in just a few hours! Imagine getting RM1 every 2 minutes….in 3 hours…that’s RM90 tax free!!! Overtime…who knows… he could be the guy with the 18 inch chrome-spinners that passed u in a souped-up CooperS on Telawi 3 the other day..

Tip #3: For those of you out there smirking in a tie and briefcase trying like hell to make ends meet and IF you’re lucky, maybe the luxury of a Shirley Temple for your partner on a Saturday night at Sri Hartamas, and to look extra cool in front of your girlfriend, you slip a ringgit to this poor blind fellow…… the joke’s on you... SUCKER!!!!

Ambil galah tolong tunjukkan..

Yesterday, one of my closest girlfriends confided in me that she is separating from her husband. This is the 2nd time I’ve been shocked to silence with such revelations. How do one act in this kind of situation?

Does one starts bashing the hubby? Be a good friend by agreeing with all the nasty allegations against the hubby?

Does one starts hugging and give consoling words?

Does one advise her to seek marriage counsel?

Does one offer financial aids?

And in both situations, I did not know how to act. All I did was told her the truth. I told her that I don’t know what to say but if she needs a helping hand, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on or a place to get away from it all, I'll always be there for her!

Did I do the right thing?

Should I say a bit more?

Was there anything else I should offer?

I guess I don’t have the answer to everything!

Older yes, but wiser? maybe...

I think I look so much more mature and closer to my death now that I’ve just had my birthday. I can honestly say that ever since I turned thirty, for each birthday year, I actually answer "Yes" to when people ask if it feels different to be a year older. Thirties just has a feel to it. I don't know what that feel is, but I feel it! I got the Thirties in me!

To elaborate my point, read on...

My kindness to strangers sadly depends on the mood I'm in that day. One day I'll talk it up with them, be kind and helpful and generally a pleasant person. Other days they can all basically fuck off.

Now, before you start thinking I'm a dreadful person all the time, let me explain. I am not a complete sourpuss 24/7. It is just that I get irritated with inconsiderate and rude strangers and they put me in a foul mood and I'm not strong enough inside to rise above and not let them ruin my day.

Yesterday, on my way to the pasar malam, I stopped at a crosswalk for a young girl pushing a stroller. All of a sudden, a lady driver in a Honda City behind me started honking. I shut my car off, walked up to her window and offered her my keys. "Here, you run the girl and her baby down, I don't have the heart", I said.

What was her reaction? She reversed and drove off on the next lane.

What made me do it? Normally I would just grit my teeth and cursed in silence waiting patiently. But never before had I actually confronted a rude driver. After all, he could be a road bully for all I know. But at that point, I was neither scared nor cared. I was pissed!

I wonder now where all that bravery came from? Was it due to the thirties in me??

And to add salt to wound, I was called ‘makcik’ by a boy selling chicken rice. Makcik! Not even a ‘kakak’! I may be dressed in just a t-shirt and jeans and have no makeup on but to be addressed as a ‘makcik’! I don’t mind being addressed as aunty (he is a little boy after all) but a ‘makcik’. I don’t deserve that! Really! He was very lucky that I’ve paid for the rice; else I would have just left huffing and puffing till I blow his ‘gerai’ down. He was seriously lucky that I didn’t have the energy to kick his butt to Timbaktoo, wherever that is!

p/s Don’t leave me comments about makcik=aunty, bm=english translation and all that crap. I still think that an aunty sounds younger and hip than a makcik!

The day after...

I was serenaded by my dearest and cheeky bom bom at 10pm the night before my birthday. To all who smsed me yesterday, sorry I couldn’t reply coz one of my pressies was a new phone. By the time I finally switched on (by then, my old phone was already cheeky bom bom’s play thing), the incomings were too many to reply at one go…but I will reply. Tunggu….

This week we have so many makan-makan sessions, unit’s raya partylah, dept raya partylah and yesterday was the organization’s open house to celebrate the birthday girl (I wish!). I’m happy with all the free food, who wouldn’t be? But whatever miligrammes that I managed to get rid during the puasa month came back in tonnes with full vengeance!

A friend of mine suggested a rice free diet but I’m afraid such a diet will be like expecting a Kancil to beat a McLaren F1 in a drag race, Lindsay Lohan to ‘behave’ in public or expecting the bumbling idiot Mr Bean to be debonair and charming like Prince William…. It’s a nice thought…..but have u ever heard of the saying…Yeeah!! When pigs fly!!!!

Anyway, during one of the face stuffing gluttony open house sessions, we decided to have the technician hook up a karaoke set in the hall for the karaoke junkies to belt their hearts out to the raya songs. When the gang (myself included) were hogging the mic, one of our colleagues stood by listening to us practically ‘Menyumbangkan’ lagu raya. Out of courtesy, we offered her the mic and to my surprise, she actually accepted it and started singing. No, she didn’t sound like the late Rafeah Buang or Sharifah Aini, in fact she sounded like she was in excruciating agony as if someone banged her big toe with a wooden mallet!! But here was a person who looks like even a butterfly can scare her to death, you can hardly hear a squeak from her during the day, without hesitation accepted our invitation.

Don’t judge a book by its cover…. Or the power of persuasion due to American Idol and AF!

I’ve been here for a year and there were many times I was surprised as such. Here, people don’t seem to have a shy bone. Every time I go to some courses or to some presentations, its normal to see people actually scrambling to put their hands up or go to the mic to ask questions or give their opinions.

Wah Lau weh!! In my previous lifetime, I would expect very few people to have the guts to go up to the mic and ask/give questions to the presenter in front of hundreds of people. But not here! It’s a good thing actually coz naturally I’m shy person. But being surrounded by these confident and robust styled personalities, I can’t afford to be seen as one. I can see now why we had to undergo a series of exams and series of interviews before being accepted into this esteemed organisation! It pays to really select your employees.

Not being able to express your feelings clearly is actually a disease that’s quite norm nowadays. My sis in law who is an HR manager said that out of 100 candidates she interviews, less than 5% was able to talk (and this was done in their own mother tongue! Belum lagi in English!). Oh sure, anyone can talk, but I mean really talk, really able to express their views in a convincing way…not talk cock, any cock can talk, cock talking or To’kok is common among people who don’t know very much but want to be seen as knowledgeable, u can tell by their laugh….sooo loud and just plain annoying.

Being able to write is not a skill anymore. With internets, plagiarism is norm. But being able to talk! Now, that is something no one can give you. It’s skill that you have to teach yourself!
So how do we cure this? Parents? Education? Peers? Banning Prof Razak Mydin’s anak mami movies?

I’ve got a neighbour who is an English teacher but in my 5 years of knowing her, I have never ever ever heard her speak in English. Scary eh?

Another year has gone by...

Btw today is my birthday…..so its been 365 days since I started this blog…. Thank you for your support and good wishes….my account no is 8273468732 if u must insist in showing your appreciation….I also accept cash vouchers from Robinson’s, Tangs, Isetan, Marks & Sparks…what the heck!! Any type of free gifts, supplementary credit & charge cards and Digi top-up cards also can-lah!!

Rounding up the Kasbon clans

With a 5 inch booklet of paper work guiding our every move, what can go wrong at a family get together?

Absolutely nothing! It was picture perfect. 3 days of social activities, never ending food, crisp cool weather and nightly movie watching made perfect by from a movie projector. Life was full, simple and happy!

To avoid extended families brushing shoulders without recognising each other, the Kasbon clan members has been organising a yearly ‘Raya’ get together for the past 10 years. The clan being so big, attendance could easily reach 60 to 90 souls. Since the family is scattered all over Malaysia (of course majority being in Johor), the clan has been devided into 3 zones, north, middle and south clans.

This year, it was the north zone’s turn to organise…. which was us, as my father in law is the Tutti de Capo Tutti of the Clan being the first son of the family, he had graciously passed over the job of being head of committee to my dearest, his first born son.

We started the organising process since before Ramadhan. After rounds of meeting with the north clan, my dearest with the help of his efficient father, came up with the paper work that was to be our guiding light for the event. We have chosen Fraser Hill to be the place for our meet since there are plenty of bungalows that can cater to our need to accommodate a large group of people with spacious areas for activities purposes.

Being young and hip (ahem ahem), we decided to revolutionise the whole event starting with a door gift consist of the clan own t-shirt, digital data imaging registration, to a multimedia presentation on the family history to fun family activities ranging from telematches (adult, children and family), cooking class, tazkirah ugama, various competition including pertandingan azan and also a short course on mind mapping.

Sounds full but it was done in a short and fun manner which managed to bring out the hidden talent of many ie being emcee, being a presenter, being a teacher and also being a leader. Any feeling of shyness, low self esteem or timid ness goes out into the cool Fraser Hill’s air the moment the clans arrived.

When I see the clan left the place yesterday morning all smiles, laden with gifts and leftover food, I applauded my dearest for a hard job well done! It was no easy task to make nearly 70 people satisfied but he did it (with our help of course..tsk tsk).

Tummy ache anyone?

Gained few pounds…check
Bank balance reduced considerably…check
Feeling extremely knackered….check
Feeling contented…check
Having severe tummy ache…check

... er, i guess this post is an obligatory Eid Mubarak post

Since the passing of the last of our grandparents last year within months of each other, me and my dearest no longer have a kampung to call our own….tsk…tsk..tsk… Henceforth our Raya will be celebrated in Muddy Rivermouth i.e. KL.

So was it a fun raya? Hell, whomever that said KL will be a dead town was wrong! WRONG I tell you! The road was jammed up all the way from our house (yes that tempat jin bertendang) right to his parents in Sg Besi and my parents in Ampang!! Where did all these cars came from? It was just like your everyday mad rush hour traffic! And the newly built three stories high mosque in Sg Besi was actually packed to the brim with the majority being Africans and Bangladeshis.

So it was not a quiet raya as we all had expected since most of the extended families decided to spend their 1st day raya at their better halves’ side but it was fun nevertheless. As we grow older, I guess, the excitement to celebrate Raya just seems to fade. But it was still fun seeing some of the family members, exchanging stories and whatnots. Raya is probably about the only time we get to see our extended family and really talk. Yes, yes, we do meet during kenduris or weddings or parties but most of us will be busy with other duties limiting conversation time. But not raya! Raya is when we get to gossip!

There were plenty of houses to visit to fill the void made by puasa in our tummy, plenty of balang kuih to raid and most of all plenty of duit raya to collect for cheeky bom bom!

So yeah, we had a blast on our 1st day of raya!

Amidst all the fun, of course we missed the crazy sister in Brisbane. Our first raya without her. And dad didn’t make it any easier too. The man who was a tyrant in my younger days. The only person whom I was afraid of, not even mom! Just one look from his eyes can make all your bones shudder! No need rotan rotan also. Anyway, I could see his eyes all red and shiny after the long distance phonecall. Mom has always been the waterworks but I guess old age can mellow even a tiger of a man. But I’m sure crazy sister, El is having a blast as I did during my first raya away from home. Surrounded by friends, learning to cook your 1st raya meal, decorating your own pad for the raya gathering, yeah, definite fun!

2nd day raya was extra special because it was my dearest’ birthday. I didn’t know what to give him so I gave him shopping vouchers (hoping he had no clue how to use em’ and pass it back to me!!). We painted the town searching high and low to splurge his gifts on but he couldn’t find anything to buy. Men! I would have finished them in seconds!

Anyway on the 3rd day we were down with a tummy-ache...actually it was food poisoning but since I got a lil history with food poisoning, that granted me a lil immunity...so less severe and less painful but still lots of trips to the loo!

So in conclusion, raya in KL does not take up too much of our time. In the kampungs, it would take few days to cover the houses that we must visit but in KL, it just took us 1 day to cover everyone. Less time, less headache, less duit raya to fork out albeit the jamlah!

And we still have the big Kasbon Clan family gathering (my dearest side) to look forward to this weekend in Fraser Hill!

Part 2 - And here we go!

Here’s the bigger picture! Bet you didn’t think of this! No, AllyMcBeal, its definitely not THAT!!!

My point is, we always look at the smaller picture and deduced so many things from it but the truth is normally quite far from it.

We look at the stars every night and will be thinking what a big universe it is out there but again the truth is not near enough to comprehend.

It’s the same with the pictures! Imagine what we are looking at (our skyline) is only a spec of the Milky Way. Imagine if we were able to look at the big picture, it will be awesome and petty things will not matter anymore. It shows how small, micro even Nano & insignificant we are compared to what God has created …. Humans have only explored and understood soooo little & yet some of us actually dare to question or doubt God!!

Staggering ain’t it!

To Dr. Sheikh who is about to view that piece of spec from a pedestal closer than any Malaysian has ever been, the first Malaysian to see earth from space, I wish you god speed.

No matter what people say about you, Astronout/Cosmonout or ‘Can or Not??’ questioning your sexual preferences, being just a space tourist or a poster boy for Malaysia, all that does not matter. You are about to put Malaysia on the world map (out of this world actually) and nothing is more satisfying than that. You started by beating millions of other sperms when u won the race to fertilise your mom’s egg ….!!, you have beaten thousands of other Malaysian hopefuls for the space race… so who’s to say u don’t deserve the accolade..

Years ago people said the same thing when Edison kept on failing with his experiments (why waste time and money). Little that they know that his little shed of light was a catalyst to many other inventions.

Therefore, I toast you Dr. Sheikh! Go do your thang! Have a safe, wonderful and historical journey!

To all my Muslim readers, ‘Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri’ and to all, have a safe and happy holiday!

p.s.
The first Muslim to spend Eid Mubarak in space….
The first Malay in space….
The first MRSM alumni in space…
The first man to eat roti canai in space…
The cutest astro/cosmonout by far compared to the Yankees and Roughneck Russians
Upon return …. The most eligible Malaysian bachelor….I can go on & on & on….

1st Part

What is this?

Lame post ahead!

Hey people! I broke my fast yesterday at Lemon, a restaurant that belongs to David Teo, the film producer. The ambience, food and prices was okaylah.

But the company! Now, I’ve had my share of rubbing shoulders with Malaysian actresses and actors but yesterday was somewhat different.

Among them were Fasha Sandha and Pierre Andre, they were so good looking and nice! I thought they would put their nose so high in the air, they’d create another hole in the ozone layer but noooo. They actually smiled and mingled freely with other patrons. And she was beautiful, her skin was flawless *major envy, grrr*. He was as tall as my dearest but a little less good looking (kena kipas sikit, he reads my blog….)

I had trouble keeping my eyes focused!! I kept glancing at the window and all the corners of the restaurant trying to catch a glimpse of a levitating corpse but I didn’t check what was behind me….Jangan Pandang Belakang!!!

Muahahahaaa

The end!

What I heard over the weekend!

Lady # 1 – Abang, sekali-sekala kita kena masuk jugak dalam kedai. Yang kat luar ni mungkin tak sama dengan yang kat dalam tu.

Lady # 2 – Cepatlah sikit, terhegeh-hegehlah awak ni. Banyak lagi tempat lain kita nak kena pergi ni. Lambat nanti habis pulak barangnya.

Lady # 3 - Where were you? I terjerit-jerit panggil you nak tengok I try baju tadi!

Lady # 4 – Yes I know I dah try baju ni tadi but I must try again to show you pulak!

And they all wore the same expressions on their faces:

The ladies – Excited, in a frenzy, harried, a lady with a mission look

The men – Bored, bemused, resigned, vacant look as if wishing he was at home watching President’s Cup!

The children – Busy playing games, talking on the phones or listening to Ipods.

And when you see this, you know raya is just around the corner!

Burning money away!

It’s not raya if you don’t see people playing firecrackers, newspapers reporting stories about children fingers/limbs getting amputated, eyes being blown away and hair being singed all due to firecrackers. What is it about firecrackers that have people from all ages fascinated and excited by them.

When I was young, I had two prominent accidents involving them.

First, my pyromaniac brother, for some reason that only he can make sense of actually burnt a small hole on my left palm which left a small scar until now. The scar may not be that visible to the naked eyes but believe me its there! (yes mima, I’m talking about my one and only brother!). Once when I was challenged to see an astrologer for palm reading, she paused a while when she got to the left palm… she actually said that,’You have the mark of the ‘Special One’…. Shiiish!! I don’t look like Jose Mourinho do I?? Memang sah kencing punya kes!!!

Second, again the big bully punya angkara when he purposely pulled one of those cracker-jacks knowing how terrified I was with them which saw me running a 100km/h and tried to do a David Copperfield into a door…. the head-on collision (no airbags mind you..) split open my upper lip! And again, you may not see the scar but believe me its there! (and yet again, yes mima, I’m talking about him!)

Anyway, yesterday I bought a few for cheeky bom bom and my dearest and me to play. Surmise to say that I was a very very careful driver yesterday for fear of being hailed by the police. I could just imagine today’s headline:

“A banker arrested in possession of illegal firecrackers!”

Shiiish, the risk I take for my loved ones!

Enough said though, oh what a joy it was to see the big laughter on them and me!

Some kind of wind!

During our first road trip together, our relationship was still kind of new. Certain boundaries have yet to be crossed. But spend a few hours driving around together, and well, boundaries go out the window and into the cool UK air.

We were about to go on a pretty long drive but my tummy, however, was in no condition to go on a long drive. It hurt like hell. I went to a drugstore and stood in front of the medical supplies storage for about five minutes where nothing really seemed to describe my symptoms. I needed a drug that said, "For when you feel like you are about to give birth to a baby elephant with spikes."

I decided I would just suck it up and got in the car. The problem was that, we were about to head out to an unknown turf which my guess was that there wouldn't be many restrooms along the way.

So we start driving, heading into the middle of nowhere, my contractions were about 5 minutes apart.

I didn't know if it was moving into the higher altitude, but the urge hit me to pass some gas. Now, at this point, I have not farted in front of my dearest (at least none that he knew about). But I had no choice. My colon decided to emit at that point one of those nasty, silent farts that I can only unimaginatively describe as stinky-poo. It was silent, so I thought maybe I'd get away with it. But then I realized about .000000000001 seconds after I did it, that he would most definitely know about it, and he would know too much. There was no way he could not have noticed, because it was the kind of flatulence you needed an iron lung for. I almost died from embarrassment.

I've never smelled a fart so fast and so bad. So right after it happened, I said to him, "Well, the good news is I feel better..."

But before I could even tell him the bad news, he got the bad news. He pretty much had his head out the window trying to suck in as much air as he could. He was laughing and gasping and not believing I was capable of such a thing. As we drove by, I think I saw trees dying and a couple of cows were like, "Oh babe, was that you?"

By that incident, I measured my dearest as a potential good life partner. One who will cover my ass as I’ll do his...hehe!